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About KellyIsTheBest32 : I'm very random and incredibly sarcastic.
I like to abreviate things.
I really don't give 2 shits if you spell everything perfectly or not.
But I absolutely fucking can not stand it when ppl type lyk d!z. Or in any variation of that.
I love to dance.
I love my family.
I love my friends.
I love facebook.
I love Aeropostale.
I love Ramen Noodles
I love cupcakes
I love cookies
I love Nature Valley Granola Bars
I hate eating leftovers.
I can rap Superbass like it's my job.
I never start drama, and I don't like being involved in it. But when other people have drama, it's pretty damn funny.
I only use FML on my phone.
I dream of being a plus sized model and a cat lady.
Some of my favorite shows are Pretty Little Liars, Dance Moms, Jersey Shore, Bad Girls Club, 16 and Pregnant/Teen Mom, America's Got Talent, and any of the CSI shows.
I love Glozell and JennaMarbles.
I think that's all you need to know about me.
Peace and Blessings.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, I got screamed at, threatened, cursed, and spat on by an elderly couple for "running them off the road". I was driving an ambulance, lights and sirens on, with a 4 year old in the back who couldn't breathe. They were going 20 in a 50mph zone for 2 miles straight. FML
Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML
Today, I lost a huge bet with my friends. I had to either post a sexual message on my mom's Facebook wall confessing my "love" for her, or be ratted out for cheating on a school test earlier in the year. Now I'm considered a freak by half my school, and am indefinitely grounded. FML
Today, my brother in law got into a fight with my husband. My pregnant sister was yelling at her husband to stop beating my husband up. When I came into the room, I asked why they were fighting. You'll never guess who the real father of my sister's baby is. FML
Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML
Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML
Friday 22 May 2015