Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About KellyIsTheBest32 : I'm very random and incredibly sarcastic.
I like to abreviate things.
I really don't give 2 shits if you spell everything perfectly or not.
But I absolutely fucking can not stand it when ppl type lyk d!z. Or in any variation of that.
I love to dance.
I love my family.
I love my friends.
I love facebook.
I love Aeropostale.
I love Ramen Noodles
I love cupcakes
I love cookies
I love Nature Valley Granola Bars
I hate eating leftovers.
I can rap Superbass like it's my job.
I never start drama, and I don't like being involved in it. But when other people have drama, it's pretty damn funny.
I only use FML on my phone.
I dream of being a plus sized model and a cat lady.
Some of my favorite shows are Pretty Little Liars, Dance Moms, Jersey Shore, Bad Girls Club, 16 and Pregnant/Teen Mom, America's Got Talent, and any of the CSI shows.
I love Glozell and JennaMarbles.
I think that's all you need to know about me.
Peace and Blessings.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, I was talking on the phone with my crush. After an hour of talking she told me, "If you were half as hot as you sound over the phone, I'd date you immediately." Maybe I should give up on love and start a phone sex line. FML
Today, I was on a train. An elderly woman and her daughter got on, looking for a seat. The daughter suggested the one next to mine. The elderly woman looked at me and said something in Russian. I speak some Russian. She said she didn't want to "sit by the hooker." FML
Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML
Today, I was sitting at a bus stop reading a book when out of the corner of my eye I spotted a middle-aged lady in a leopard-skin coat stumble up to me. She stopped, belched twice, and unleashed a torrent of red wine colored vomit onto my bag. It was 8:45 am. FML
Today, I finally decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. Surprisingly, he and my father already knew each other, so I asked him how they met. Now I know where my boyfriend gets all his weed. FML
Today, as I was getting ready to go to the midnight premiere of the new Spiderman movie, I was actually bitten by a spider. He gets super powers and a hot girl, I swell up like a balloon and get to spend the night in the hospital. FML
Monday 30 November 2015