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KellyIly

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KellyIly

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  • Number of visits : 5684
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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KellyIly's favorite FMLs

Today, my town had a carnival to raise money for cancer. I ran a kissing booth, when a really cute guy came up paid his $20, looked at me, and said "not even for cancer." He took his money and left. FML

#500122
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79547) - you deserved it (7248)

On 03/20/2009 at 10:39pm - love - by cancerfreak (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was walking up to girlfriends house when her terrifying Marine Corps dad threw a football at me. Not being very athletic i surprised myself by catching it. He gestured for me throw it back and i watched it spiral wildy to the left and hit my girlfriends mom in the face. FML

#433084
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71620) - you deserved it (13229)

On 03/18/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by Jaxter (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was on a webcam with my friend. We were joking around so I stood up and flashed her. Her grandma choose that second to walk past and look at the screen. Her grandma now thinks were lesbians and that I'm a whore. FML

#416306
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20114) - you deserved it (69621)

On 03/17/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by webcammistake (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. After three long weeks of him ignoring me and cancelling out on time we were supposed to spend with each other. He looked at me with the most confused look on his face. Then he says ''Are you serious? I was planning the perfect day to ask you to marry me'' FML

#409888
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31341) - you deserved it (84455)

On 03/17/2009 at 10:20am - misc - by PinkTornado - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was babysitting, the toddler was feeding me banana slices from her tray while I was cutting up clay for her to mold. It was all fine until she shoved something hard and crunchy into my mouth. I immediately spat it out into my hand. It was a dead cricket she found on the floor. FML

#331058
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55014) - you deserved it (8190)

On 03/14/2009 at 10:27pm - misc - by storyofmylife - United States

Today, all of my friends and teachers asked me what was wrong because I looked sad and tired. One kid even said that I looked like "an abused housewife the day after." I was fine. It was the first time I went to school without wearing any makeup. FML

#234874
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54210) - you deserved it (8653)

On 03/07/2009 at 3:34pm - misc - by bu09 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to visit my Grandmother, accidentally leaving my phone home during the weekend. When I got back I had 2 texts from my crush. One saying "I want to take the most beautiful girl to prom, go with me?" and the other saying, "Fine fattie, I'll ask someone else." FML

#229986
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68323) - you deserved it (6573)

On 03/06/2009 at 9:55pm - love - by promdump (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my best friend who I have been secretly in love with forever, was ranting about her ex-girlfriend. Then she said : "If only you were gay, we'd be perfect for each other." So I took the chance to tell her I was. She responded : "Well I am still not attracted to you though." FML

#207731
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69065) - you deserved it (7101)

On 03/04/2009 at 4:03pm - love - by alone_forever (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, for my two-year anniversary I got my girlfriend a very expensive diamond necklace. She got me male enhancement pills. FML

#197066
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (140163) - you deserved it (15703)

On 03/03/2009 at 4:40pm - intimacy - by eaa145 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1134118) - you deserved it (111730)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I had the cops called on me because I accidentally texted "I'm going to kill you and use your head as hood ornament" to my ex-fiancé, instead of my best friend. I only texted that because he got a better grade on an exam than me. Now I have a court date. FML

#133313
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27749) - you deserved it (39800)

On 02/25/2009 at 2:05pm - misc - by Joe (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I forgot my work clothes at home so my boss gave me a jacket with a name patch that said "Mike". Still wearing my work clothes I ran into my ex-girlfriend on my way home. We were together for five years until she dumped me for a guy name Mike. FML

#131140
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36703) - you deserved it (3588)

On 02/25/2009 at 2:42am - love - by laf@me (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I decided to brush up on my flirting skills and ask a guy I thought was kind of cute what time it was. He pointed to the very visible watch on my wrist and said "You should know already". FML

#120192
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6613) - you deserved it (48291)

On 02/24/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Timeless (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, My mom walked in on me and my 2 year crush about to have sex. When she saw us she said "oh I'll just wait outside, I know it wont be long anyway." FML

#93676
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73021) - you deserved it (5935)

On 02/21/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (Texas)



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