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KellyIly

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KellyIly
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5031
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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KellyIly's favorite FMLs

Today, was my uncle's funeral. He was cremated, and his wish was to have his ashes spread into the sea. As we were waiting for the waves to come and take him away, a group of seagulls came by picking at all his ashes. I guess he tasted good. FML

#12782393
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27467) - you deserved it (2858)

On 08/28/2010 at 2:07am - misc - by SeagullsShouldDie - United States

Today, I was in the car going to a concert with my family. I was listening to my iPod, when the wheel broke and I couldn't change the song. So for the rest of the trip, I was stuck either listening to my parents arguing, or Don't Worry, Be Happy by Bobby McFerrin on repeat. FML

#12782380
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20932) - you deserved it (5193)

On 08/28/2010 at 2:07am - misc - by dontworrybehappy (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets the same amount of entertainment out of tickling me and having sex with me, and he likes the tickling noises better. FML

#12782161
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22386) - you deserved it (6437)

On 08/28/2010 at 1:49am - intimacy - by JessykaB - United States

Today, I superglued my headphones back together. They weren't dry before I put them back in my ears. FML

Today, I was taking care of a friend's hamster. Thinking the hamster wanted to make a bed, I put some cotton balls in his cage so he would be comfy. He promptly ate them and died. FML

#12781273
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13339) - you deserved it (34271)

On 08/28/2010 at 12:56am - animals - by Kelli (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to wear string panties. While in line at the mall, they became untied. I was wearing a skirt. FML

#12781216
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11773) - you deserved it (31386)

On 08/28/2010 at 12:54am - misc - by wearingshorts - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend, who recently started French classes, and I were having sex. Knowing how whispering in my ear turns me on, she whispered something in French, and I came. Later I found out it meant something like, "You should lose a lot of weight." FML

#12776865
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23627) - you deserved it (7739)

On 08/27/2010 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by gleefan116 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend and I were role playing when her mum walked past the slightly open door, saw me, and chased me out of the house for stealing her baby's innocence. I was only wearing a red speedo. FML

#12775979
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11208) - you deserved it (31684)

On 08/27/2010 at 7:16pm - intimacy - by yeah - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my girlfriend asked me how big the Sun would be compared to the Earth. I didn't have anything on me to help demonstrate, so to imitate the Earth, I made a small hole with my index finger and thumb and said "Okay, imagine a ball this small." She then looked at my crotch. FML

#12769605
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21929) - you deserved it (10883)

On 08/27/2010 at 8:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years finally asked me to marry him. He said: We could save taxes if we married.. what do you think? That was the most romantic thing he said to me in the last 2 years. FML

#12768911
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24828) - you deserved it (8531)

On 08/27/2010 at 5:57am - love - by weddinggirl (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, at a restaurant, I was joking around trying to make my friend laugh by pretending to be a ninja. I did this by putting my napkin in front of my face. I happened to look over at another table and saw that a lady wearing a burqa was giving me the most evil glare I have ever seen in my life. FML

#12768878
47 comments

Today, my new girlfriend, with whom I have not had sex, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said "This one is my favorite" now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML

#12768681
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38694) - you deserved it (4239)

On 08/27/2010 at 5:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while trying to give an immunization to a "special" 13-year-old, I got spit on, kicked, almost bitten, and had a chair thrown at me. When it was all over, I flinched when the patient tried to hug me. Her mom called me a "b*tch" and I later found out he wasn't a "special" child. FML

#12767492
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31014) - you deserved it (3088)

On 08/27/2010 at 2:49am - work - by atetoeate (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized that it wasn't my science partner that smelled bad, it was me. How? The guy I have a crush on handed me a stick of deodorant and said, "Please use it." FML

#12764929
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9296) - you deserved it (22963)

On 08/27/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by Oops (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I pretended like I was dead to my 4 year old brother. He cried my name for a couple of seconds, then took my iPhone out of my hands and ran away laughing. FML

#12760646
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11126) - you deserved it (35585)

On 08/26/2010 at 8:19pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States



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