Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

KellyIly

Search for a member

KellyIly

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7554
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

KellyIly's page activity

Visits<b>PopBlox</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 2:34pm

KellyIly's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

KellyIly's favorite FMLs

Today, I got myself a cool pair of colored contacts. I was wearing them while at home, so that I'll get used to them. Then I had to go to a job interview. I forgot to take them out. I went to a job interview with zebra-print eyes. FML

#3091991
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11158) - you deserved it (66392)

On 06/21/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by creepyeyes (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I picked up my 17 years old daughter after a late night movie in down town and got pulled over by a cop. He questioned us for a solicitation. I told the cop that she was my daughter but he said "so you are the daddy" and laughed. Good to know that my daughter looks like a ho and I a perv. FML

#2940204
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64993) - you deserved it (6184)

On 06/16/2009 at 1:22pm - intimacy - by enderw (man) - United States

Today, I went to a family dinner. While waiting to be seated, a guy walked by and I looked to see if he was hot. Then my grandma yelled, "Get your eyeballs back in your head and quit staring at boys!" The whole restaurant heard her. Including the guy. And yes, he was hot. FML

#2826530
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51239) - you deserved it (8050)

On 06/12/2009 at 9:46am - love - by embarrassment (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was in the cafeteria when I noticed a new worker cleaning a table. As I passed her, she looked up and smiled at me. Thinking she was pulling a funny face, I jokingly crossed my eyes and smiled back. She looked hurt and continued working. Later, she served me my lunch. She was actually cross-eyed. FML

#2774700
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14564) - you deserved it (72332)

On 06/10/2009 at 3:42pm - work - by crosseyed (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was doing the laundry, but couldn't tell if one basket contained dirty clothes or clean clothes. I put my head down into the basket and took a whiff to check, and smelled something strong. I looked down and noticed I had shoved my nose into my mother's dirty panties and inhaled deeply. FML

#2771794
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22286) - you deserved it (59236)

On 06/10/2009 at 1:37pm - misc - by potpurri_needed (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I bought my girlfriend an iPhone. I preloaded it with a bunch of cool apps and stuff and spent a lot and money. She used it to send a text to me 3 hours later saying that she thought we should break up. FML

#2710099
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62764) - you deserved it (8340)

On 06/08/2009 at 2:05am - love - by aasatt22 - United States (California)

Today, at work my arms were full. I needed to get the door open, so instead of pushing the swing door open with my shoulder, I kicked it open with my foot. Right into my manager's face. FML

#2647799
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37892) - you deserved it (11997)

On 06/05/2009 at 11:36pm - work - by hellogoodbye (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a taxi home from work. Only having notes in my wallet, I told the taxi driver that I'd run inside my house and come back out with the change for the journey. He agreed, but only if I left my bag as collateral. It seemed fair. An hour later, I realized my wallet was missing. FML

#2633025
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16410) - you deserved it (46679)

On 06/05/2009 at 3:07pm - money - by victimboi (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me because the love advice that she gets on her cellphone every week says that I'm cheating on her. I've never cheated on her and I was planning to propose next week. FML

#2630668
470 comments

I agree, your life sucks (93560) - you deserved it (6097)

On 06/05/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by dumped (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had a date with this guy. I waited at the restaurant for an hour and he didn't show. Thinking he stood me up, I went over to his place and keyed his car. Then I realized the date was for tomorrow. FML

#2597926
635 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12447) - you deserved it (147382)

On 06/04/2009 at 1:09pm - misc - by soljaboy (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband of ten years was playing the Sims. I asked him about the house he built. Apparently, it was his dream house, and he recreated himself as a Sim so he could live in it. Then I asked him where the wife was. There was no wife. It was his happy place. FML

#2464746
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53021) - you deserved it (10325)

On 05/31/2009 at 1:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - Poland (Katowice)

Today, I was sitting in my basement watching IT. I heard a knocking at my door and turned the outside lights on to see a clown outside staring in at me. I freaked out and began screaming and jumping around like a Chihuahua on drugs. My friends told me it should be on YouTube within the week. FML

#2405054
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54348) - you deserved it (8777)

On 05/29/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, at Jiffy Lube a woman and her 4 year-old son were waiting at the checkout counter. As I walk by them, her son mistakes me for his father and holds my hand. The woman immediately grabs her son's wrist, looks at me, and says "Sicko." FML

#2341897
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57302) - you deserved it (2836)

On 05/27/2009 at 2:37pm - misc - by thebigpeezy - United States

Today, while I was waitressing, I bent down to pick up a menu and accidentally farted, really loud, at my table. FML

#2037920
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51706) - you deserved it (10472)

On 05/18/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by oops (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was pulling my trolley luggage at the airport when I passed 2 cute girls smiling at me. Thinking I looked real cool, I kept on walking without paying heed to anything else. Then my brother shouted asking me what was I doing, only to realise that the handle had come off a few metres back. FML

#1954003
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11650) - you deserved it (41044)

On 05/15/2009 at 12:41am - misc - by NotSoCool (man) - Singapore



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: