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Today, I walked in on my mom giving my dad head. Acting like I hadn't seen anything, I asked if I could use a towel sitting on the dresser. My mom said, "No, we're going to need that one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24938) - you deserved it (5130)
On 08/29/2010 at 11:37am - intimacy - by bkay26 - United States (Georgia)
Today, my boyfriend was talking with his friends about how long girls take to get ready (hair, make-up, etc.). I said, "I never spend a long time getting ready..." He then looked at me and said, "maybe you should." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24486) - you deserved it (6335)
On 08/29/2010 at 10:14am - love - by ILoveFML - United States (New York)
Today, my grandmother died. No one called me to let me know she passed. I found out because people kept writing RIP on her Facebook wall. My siblings and I weren't even mentioned in her obituary with the other grandchildren, but they did remember to mention her dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24747) - you deserved it (1549)
On 08/29/2010 at 7:29am - animals - by katta2009 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy, when suddenly he pulled out and told me that "he had another fat chick meeting him in twenty minutes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27147) - you deserved it (10621)
On 08/29/2010 at 3:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I learned to never shave your downstairs when you have the hiccups. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14980) - you deserved it (19192)
On 08/29/2010 at 1:02am - health - by yggiz (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my dad walked in on me singing "Bohemian Rhapsody", while spinning in circles with the cat in my arms. I thought I was home alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9319) - you deserved it (18194)
On 08/29/2010 at 12:54am - animals - by Hobbsie - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I took my date out for dinner to a seafood restaurant and she ordered expensive prawns. Later, when we had sex, she started to complain about her stomach hurting and then had diarrhea for hours. Great job prawns. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21376) - you deserved it (3397)
On 08/29/2010 at 12:53am - intimacy - by Matt - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I wanted to go clubbing with my friends. I started drinking at home to save on the price of drinks, instead I fell asleep on my couch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4896) - you deserved it (26578)
On 08/29/2010 at 12:47am - misc - by constantine - United States
Today, my girlfriend of six months broke up with me because of 'creative differences', as she put it. The real reason is that we couldn't decide which cupboard the plates should have gone in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17880) - you deserved it (3348)
On 08/29/2010 at 12:21am - love - by nottelling7012 (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, the girl I like sent me a Facebook message telling me how the message I left on her phone was one of the funniest drunk dials she's ever gotten. I'm debating whether or not I should tell her that I don't drink. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21916) - you deserved it (2707)
On 08/28/2010 at 9:36pm - love - by 713 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, at work, I was reprimanded for not engaging with customers enough. In an effort to be more friendly, I complimented the next customer on her interesting accent. Turns out it was from a stroke she had last year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20071) - you deserved it (4897)
On 08/28/2010 at 8:05pm - work - by Flippy - United States (Washington)
Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching tv and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28733) - you deserved it (19870)
On 08/28/2010 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Sicko - Sent from mobile version
Today, I found out that my entire school differentiates me from another girl in my grade with the same name by saying "No, she's the lesbian one." I'm straight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20389) - you deserved it (2258)
On 08/28/2010 at 7:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was watching TV when a Dentyne gum commercial came on and stated that the average person spends more than 20,000 minutes kissing. I've spent less than three. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25174) - you deserved it (5026)
On 08/28/2010 at 12:19pm - love - by doesntkissalot - United States (Florida)
Today, I woke up with a burning sensation on my butt. Remembering that yesterday I was bit by a fire ant, I decided to reinspect the bite. I found ten more which itch and burn. My parents' new nickname for me is "Firebutt". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19540) - you deserved it (3180)
On 08/28/2010 at 12:04pm - health - by Firepants (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 17 June 2013
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