Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

KellyIly

Search for a member

KellyIly

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7556
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

KellyIly's page activity

Visits<b>PopBlox</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 2:34pm

KellyIly's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

KellyIly's favorite FMLs

Today, my Platoon Sergeant caught me unshaved, so now I have to write a 1000 word essay on "The importance of shaving." FML

#12535348
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17529) - you deserved it (38874)

On 08/15/2010 at 5:47am - work - by jacko (man) - Reserved

Today, I put on makeup for a picture. My Facebook profile picture. That's how much of a life I actually have. FML

#12534816
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13834) - you deserved it (32264)

On 08/15/2010 at 4:42am - misc - by Lifeless (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I haven't had any real sleep in 4 days because I am an insomniac. My father is also an insomniac but he takes Ambien to get his rest. Me? I'm stuck staring at the ceiling for hours because he won't let me take any kind of medication, because he doesn't want me "getting addicted." FML

#12533834
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32814) - you deserved it (3483)

On 08/15/2010 at 3:23am - health - by sleeplessinID (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my mom called me to the laundry room after she saw a dead animal in there. I took a look and agreed we should call animal control. After ten minutes of freaking out, they finally arrived to confirm that the dead animal was the hood to my winter jacket. FML

#12531799
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8614) - you deserved it (40342)

On 08/15/2010 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home. As a volunteer, I'm not supposed to accept any money or gifts from any of the residents. However, one elderly woman kept insisting I take her gold watch. After politely refusing for the fifth time, she decided to chuck it at my face. FML

#12530791
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33531) - you deserved it (3906)

On 08/15/2010 at 12:39am - work - by ouch (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out I won't be able to go to college. Why? My sister's horse needs surgery. FML

#12530276
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49358) - you deserved it (5068)

On 08/15/2010 at 12:12am - animals - by goodbye-college (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my car was stolen. From my driveway. By the guy who sold it to me. FML

#12528127
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39007) - you deserved it (4075)

On 08/14/2010 at 10:25pm - misc - by carless (woman) - United States (California)

Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me and my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she is embarrassed of my real brother. FML

#12524990
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41175) - you deserved it (2898)

On 08/14/2010 at 7:23pm - love - by incestastic - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I picked up a penny off the street for good luck on my job interview. A few seconds later, a hobo beat me up, took my wallet, and ran off. The whole ordeal made me late for the interview. So much for good luck. FML

#12524793
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29480) - you deserved it (3623)

On 08/14/2010 at 7:10pm - work - by hobosarea-holes (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my best friend thought it would look cool if I recorded her swinging while lying under the swing. She ended up kicking me in the face and laughing so hard she pissed on me. FML

#12522582
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38010) - you deserved it (19798)

On 08/14/2010 at 4:43pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I missed my shift at work. I had asked my girlfriend, who works at the same store, to text me my schedule. She sent me the wrong hours for today. I got suspended, and she broke up with me for being too irresponsible. FML

#12522579
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34129) - you deserved it (8511)

On 08/14/2010 at 4:41pm - love - by irresponsible (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend and I made lists of what celebrities we're interested in. The first one she listed wasn't a celebrity - it was my brother. He's spending the weekend with us. FML

#12519731
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34061) - you deserved it (3898)

On 08/14/2010 at 1:37pm - love - by Chad - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that the foundation I've been using for the past month isn't normal foundation, its skin darkening foundation. I look like an oompa loompa from the neck up. It won't go away for another month. FML

#12518999
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11032) - you deserved it (34247)

On 08/14/2010 at 12:35pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Scottish Borders)

Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML

#12513717
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8229) - you deserved it (46898)

On 08/14/2010 at 2:27am - health - by Fire_Crotch (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to a tanning salon. I guess nobody mentioned that you have to lift your fat rolls or you'll end up with weird stripes where the spray never reached. FML

#12506969
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10277) - you deserved it (49319)

On 08/13/2010 at 8:56pm - health - by thatsucks4u - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: