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KellyIly

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KellyIly

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  • Number of visits : 6798
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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KellyIly's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that if my son and daughter in law are mad at me, they do it on my furniture. So far, they've done it on the table, my bed, and all the living room couches. FML

#12566492
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25210) - you deserved it (11910)

On 08/16/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came home to a dead fish duct-taped to the wall of my dorm room. I can't reach it. FML

#12566146
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30674) - you deserved it (3496)

On 08/16/2010 at 7:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mother found out that I'm sexually active. She wants me to tell my father. I'm seventeen, and my father still has trouble grasping the fact that I carry a purse, because it means I'm "growing up." This should be fun. FML

#12566093
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30988) - you deserved it (17676)

On 08/16/2010 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by sarskii (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, the ice cream truck went by my house for the seventh time today, as it has for the last seven days of my fasting. FML

#12563686
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28373) - you deserved it (7735)

On 08/16/2010 at 4:35pm - misc - by IceCreamCraver (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

#12563425
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49906) - you deserved it (6087)

On 08/16/2010 at 4:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, for my mom's birthday, we went camping. At night, my mom and her boyfriend decided to have "Birthday Sex" because they thought everyone was asleep. Trying to not make it awkward for me and my friend that I brought along, I kept still. Soon, I heard my friend going to town on herself. FML

#12552368
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44140) - you deserved it (4451)

On 08/16/2010 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my friends were all sharing sweet things their boyfriends had shared with them. After hearing "he says I look pretty without makeup" or "he promises we'll get married one day", I realized that the only compliment he's given me is that my laughter "sounds like a squirrel having a seizure." FML

#12552157
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28290) - you deserved it (4993)

On 08/16/2010 at 1:03am - love - by 86145 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I met my recently divorced mother's new boyfriend. He is missing teeth and has long hair and a mangy beard. Horrified, I left the room, only to hear my mother telling my sister, "The sex is phenomenal!" FML

#12550776
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29687) - you deserved it (2934)

On 08/16/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I realized that that tingly feeling on my face when I put a new combination of acne wash, acne medication, and my usual moisturizer on was not, in fact, "it working." It was slowly peeling away the top layer of skin. I look and feel sunburned. I also still have acne and oily skin. FML

#12549238
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24265) - you deserved it (5583)

On 08/15/2010 at 11:12pm - health - by Tingly (woman) - United States

Today, after already having a terrible day, I went to Starbucks for an espresso. Being nice, I put the last dollar I had in my wallet in their tip jar. While paying for my drink, my card was denied for insufficient funds. The world hates me. FML

#12542029
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28818) - you deserved it (5716)

On 08/15/2010 at 4:20pm - money - by noespresso (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a wasp stung my nipple. Twice. The swelling makes it look like I'm growing a third breast. FML

#12539128
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29182) - you deserved it (3882)

On 08/15/2010 at 1:24pm - animals - by tammy - Sent from mobile version

Today, to be nice, I baked cookies for my step-mom as a birthday present. I burnt my hand while putting them in the oven, but I'd hoped it would be worth it. When she got home, I gave one for her to try. She took a bite, spit it out, and threw it on the floor, asking if it was a joke or if I was really trying to poison her. FML

#12538079
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27939) - you deserved it (3124)

On 08/15/2010 at 12:05pm - health - by shinee - Singapore

Today, I witnessed a series of nude old people cycling in the city. I was eating. FML

#12536404
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33442) - you deserved it (4791)

On 08/15/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by anonymous - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I found out that my overprotective parents hired a private investigator a month ago, who since then has been watching my perfectly normal boyfriend, in case he "tries to rape or kill" me. We're both 25 years old. FML

#12536265
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38163) - you deserved it (2564)

On 08/15/2010 at 8:52am - love - by wtf - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my sister got caught cheating on her boyfriend. She was cheating on him with my boyfriend. FML

#12535853
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45442) - you deserved it (3327)

On 08/15/2010 at 7:39am - intimacy - by bbbblt - Australia (Queensland)



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