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KellyIly

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KellyIly

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KellyIly's favorite FMLs

Today, I shaved off the beard I had been forced to grow over the past 3 weeks due to forgetting my razor when away. 15 Minutes in, with half my beard gone, I realised I had got a tan everywhere but my beard. I now have a large white patch on my face. FML

#12601723
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27339) - you deserved it (11711)

On 08/18/2010 at 8:01am - misc - by Herbiee (man) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, whilst I was working in McDonald's, a customer threw their Quarterpounder at me because it had pickles and he said he didn't want any pickles in his burger. I didn't even serve him. I'd just started my shift. FML

Today, I was alone in the car with my grandma for five hours while she told me all about the multiple bladder infections she's had in the past year. FML

#12599218
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25922) - you deserved it (2870)

On 08/18/2010 at 2:58am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I put on my new sexy lingerie to get my husband in the mood after work. When I walked into the kitchen where he was reading the newspaper, he eyed me and simply said, "Honey, please, your stomach is the biggest turnoff ever." FML

#12598629
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47893) - you deserved it (13779)

On 08/18/2010 at 2:23am - intimacy - by ...thanks honey - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that my name literally means "burden". This wouldn't be so bad if both my mother and father knew this when they named me. FML

#12596251
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25621) - you deserved it (2641)

On 08/18/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend asked for a picture of my penis, so I sent her one. Then later on, she asked for one when I was hard, the first one I sent I was hard. FML

#12595665
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32530) - you deserved it (16552)

On 08/18/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Photagrapher - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to a water park, and the fee to get in was $39.95. Once I got in I was really thirsty, so I got a soda and then I hear over the intercom that the park is closing due to a clog in the cleaning system. I paid 43.67 for a soda. FML

#12592660
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35404) - you deserved it (3881)

On 08/17/2010 at 10:01pm - misc - by Still Dry - United States

Today, I discovered a bat in my new apartment. I found him in my shoe... with my foot. FML

#12583063
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32402) - you deserved it (3237)

On 08/17/2010 at 1:09pm - misc - by Bruce (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my aunt asked me to babysit my cousin. She gave me a warning that he says he's allergic to foods to get out of eating them. When I brought out my homemade cooking, he told me he was allergic, so I made him eat it anyway. Turns out he WAS allergic. FML

#12582997
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35933) - you deserved it (12047)

On 08/17/2010 at 1:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I ran into my boyfriend at the mall, the same boyfriend that told me he was taking a family vacation to Mexico. FML

#12580097
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37040) - you deserved it (3792)

On 08/17/2010 at 8:30am - love - by tina - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was told that in order to be considered for more jobs, I should remove my college degree from my resume. FML

#12579737
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32014) - you deserved it (3579)

On 08/17/2010 at 7:43am - work - by JoannaG25 (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I was on my third date with this really cute girl. After a very romantic evening, I decided to go for the first kiss, but because of my nervous reflex in which I get bloody noses, I ended up bleeding all over her face. FML

#12577034
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38440) - you deserved it (4544)

On 08/17/2010 at 3:10am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, airport security took away my 32$ eyelash curler, because it could be used as a weapon. I miss the 90s. FML

#12574406
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30112) - you deserved it (8527)

On 08/17/2010 at 12:59am - misc - by J.O.S (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I learned that I was conceived on a public bus. FML

#12573774
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39694) - you deserved it (4384)

On 08/17/2010 at 12:28am - intimacy - by ew. - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my friends thought it would be a good idea to make fun of a homeless man. I didn't fancy making fun of the less fortunate, so I stayed a bit back. Still, the homeless man didn't think it would matter to throw a rock at me after my buddies ran away. FML

#12573522
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25226) - you deserved it (13201)

On 08/17/2010 at 12:21am - misc - by Yay..... - Canada (Nova Scotia)



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