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KellyIly

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KellyIly

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  • Number of visits : 5719
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KellyIly's favorite FMLs

Today, I got mugged by a guy who was threatening me with a stapler. FML

#18191865
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27098) - you deserved it (7998)

On 11/08/2011 at 9:39am - misc - by StaplerScared - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I passed my fiancé the pancakes I had just made, he vocalised his happiness with a groan that was EXACTLY like the one he makes when we have sex. So on a sexiness rating, I'm a pancake. FML

#16830910
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35299) - you deserved it (9734)

On 06/24/2011 at 6:45am - intimacy - by Eve (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, it was my first day at my new job. My new boss asked me if I was single. After telling him I have been happily married for 6 years, he fired me on the spot. FML

#16793164
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48525) - you deserved it (3410)

On 06/22/2011 at 1:35am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my professor spent the entire class showing us how to make paper airplanes. I pay over 40 grand a year for college. FML

#16694392
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31761) - you deserved it (5556)

On 06/16/2011 at 12:03pm - misc - by Scholar (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while having sex on the couch with my single neighbour, a beam in the couch broke. Not even slightly fazed, she said, "It's okay, my husband can fix it." Husband? FML

#14059458
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32496) - you deserved it (7861)

On 12/02/2010 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by nickyboy (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was sitting in a lecture about the history of the KKK and the problems it has caused, when the weirdest and quietest kid leans over my shoulder and says "I'd burn you first..." and winks. FML

#13455190
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32317) - you deserved it (3193)

On 10/15/2010 at 2:00am - misc - by racist - United States

Today, I found out everybody at work thinks I'm a lesbian because they thought my boyfriend was a girl. FML

#13370943
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25307) - you deserved it (5349)

On 10/08/2010 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML

#13318955
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68727) - you deserved it (7736)

On 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, and every day, a homeless looking man walks into my work, sits down and stares. I'm new to the job so, trying to make new friends, when the guy walked in this time, I went over to a co worker I was really clicking with, and went off about how creepy he was. He replied with "Who, my dad?" FML

#13260317
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9117) - you deserved it (27818)

On 09/30/2010 at 4:19am - work - by simply2010 (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I nervously introduced my mother to my new boyfriend. I had to sit and watch her flirt with him for an hour. When I took her in the other room and confronted her about it, she said, "Don't you dare ruin this for me!" FML

#13241865
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39948) - you deserved it (2849)

On 09/28/2010 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I got a spray tan for homecoming. While I was dancing, I got really sweaty and the spray tan rubbed off on the guy's white tux. FML

#13241516
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8677) - you deserved it (44606)

On 09/28/2010 at 9:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I put an anonymous note under my neighbour's door asking them to not have sex so loudly during the day. Since then, I haven't heard any sex. Unfortunately, I have heard a woman crying loudly because she just found out about her husband's affair. FML

#13157318
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44208) - you deserved it (9755)

On 09/22/2010 at 3:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, we were in the car with my puppy, who favours my sister. She had been sat on her lap for a while, when she stood up and climbed onto my lap. I was really pleased until she peed on me and then went straight back to my sister. FML

#13082882
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29811) - you deserved it (3018)

On 09/17/2010 at 2:30am - misc - by PuppyPeeTimee. - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I was waiting for my boyfriend who evidently stood me up. I waited so long, the security came up and asked me to leave, because I was scaring the staff. FML

#13081753
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26142) - you deserved it (3349)

On 09/17/2010 at 12:43am - love - by anime_love - United States

Today, I was telling my friend about how my boyfriend never does anything nice for me. Confused, she replied, "That's odd, he's always doing nice things for me." FML

#13037540
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35008) - you deserved it (3836)

On 09/13/2010 at 6:24pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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