KelCee_E

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KelCee_E

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 13 August 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2208
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About KelCee_E : I like sarcasm, pancakes, and making rude faces/hand gestures out of heavily tinted windows.
I laugh a lot.
The end.

KelCee_E's page activity

Visits<b>stumblzzz</b> - the 08/19/2016 at 3:55pm<b>maaj</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 3:19am<b>FML64128</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 12:11am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:12pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 1:43pm<b>HighHopes159</b> - the 12/14/2009 at 2:06am<b>ha</b> - the 12/08/2009 at 8:41pm<b>JustSoLost</b> - the 12/01/2009 at 10:36pm<b>4dakill</b> - the 09/16/2009 at 4:06am<b>Animegal7860</b> - the 07/16/2009 at 10:06pm<b>DizzyDemon0</b> - the 07/07/2009 at 2:10am<b>xabuko</b> - the 06/25/2009 at 4:01am<b>roundnproud</b> - the 06/21/2009 at 2:02pm<b>wtfiswithlife</b> - the 06/17/2009 at 10:46am<b>goodnightbella</b> - the 06/11/2009 at 7:54pm<b>ToxicMoon</b> - the 06/10/2009 at 8:26pm<b>dnttrustpancak3</b> - the 06/08/2009 at 8:20pm<b>HummingBirdsFly</b> - the 06/07/2009 at 4:10pm

KelCee_E's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

KelCee_E's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

by wtfdreams / 05/17/2009 at 8:33am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

by Familyskank / 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor went through the normal questions, then paused for a moment and jotted something down. Later when I got back my report from the checkup, I noticed that the doctor had checked the "no" box by "sexually active." She didn't even ask me that. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2009 at 8:05pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, a woman drove through my house. She was texting and eating watermelon at the same time. I didn't know that was even possible, but now my house is condemned. FML

by Fitz / 04/12/2009 at 9:53am / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, I went to a professional baseball game. In the 5th inning, our row was chosen for a random giveaway where everyone sitting in the row recieved free roundtrip airline tickets to New York City. While this was going on, I was up, getting a pretzel. FML

by ZachooMackoo / 04/09/2009 at 10:15pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML

by Anonymous / 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I was volunteering at a school. There's this really bratty boy there and he was being rude, so I joked, "How are you ever gonna get a girlfriend when you're so mean?" He responds, "I think the better question is how are you ever gonna get a boyfriend when you're so ugly." He's 7. FML

by ugly / 04/07/2009 at 7:34pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I was volunteering at a school. There's this really bratty boy there and he was being rude, so I joked, "How are you ever gonna get a girlfriend when you're so mean?" He responds, "I think the better question is how are you ever gonna get a boyfriend when you're so ugly." He's 7. FML

by ugly / 04/07/2009 at 7:34pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids