Keiren

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Offline (the 01/14/2014 at 7:18am)

Keiren

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 18 July 1977 (38 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4491
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Keiren : Nothing to see here, move along.

Keiren's page activity

Visits<b>zeropointnine</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 1:27am<b>CloudEnvy</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 6:37am<b>Shmatterhorn</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 3:49am<b>chowE</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 9:53pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 7:22pm<b>whinthy</b> - the 01/02/2013 at 12:49am<b>EyesofStone</b> - the 12/25/2012 at 1:20am<b>lmc94</b> - the 12/19/2012 at 12:10pm<b>outoftown</b> - the 11/17/2012 at 3:09pm

Keiren's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of Keiren's badges

Keiren's favorite FMLs

Today, my son had to call me from his school's principal's office because he was disrupting his health class by laughing whenever the teacher said "sex". My son is 16. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2012 at 12:18am / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, I got home to find our house broken into. Among other things, the thieves took our television, my laptop and several pieces of expensive jewelry. Also missing was my daughter's My Little Pony collection. I think we were robbed by a Brony. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2012 at 5:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter sat me down for a long talk. It turns out that she thinks she is the Chosen One. FML

Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML

by Baustigt / 04/10/2012 at 6:48am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got mugged at Disney World, the happiest place on Earth. FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2012 at 1:15am / United States / Money

Today, I realized the reason my 20-year-old daughter has been so moody and aggressive is because she missed the promotional My Little Pony toys at McDonald's. FML

by Anonymous / 04/08/2012 at 2:55pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML

by potatoebee / 04/03/2012 at 2:19pm / United States (South Carolina) / Kids

Today, the war against the pigeons on my veranda reached a new level. To try and get them to clear off, I gave my window pane a short, sharp knock. It broke into several shards, and not one of the totally oblivious birds moved. Pigeons 1, Me 0. FML

by Kilimanjaro / 04/03/2012 at 12:41am / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I called an airline's customer service line. Apparently the way that they deal with uncommon problems is by having someone put you on hold for twenty minutes, answer and yell something unintelligible at you, put you back on hold, and repeat. This went on for over an hour. FML

by unfriendlyskies / 04/02/2012 at 7:40pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Money

Today, my daughter decided to wake me up by putting the vacuum in my hair and turning it on. FML

by baldspot / 04/02/2012 at 1:38am / Australia / Kids

Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML

by George Saunders / 03/21/2012 at 12:06am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Kids

Today, I told my daughter that she should put some love into her cooking. She started kissing the ingredients. FML

by FoodyFood / 03/19/2012 at 12:59am / Australia (South Australia) / Kids

Today, my 8-year-old niece corrected my spelling via text message. FML

by Anonymous / 03/06/2012 at 3:41pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, while babysitting, one of the boys fell on an exposed pipe and broke it. It spewed water five feet into the air, spread water across four rooms, and completely soaked another of the boys. Their parents had only left fifteen minutes before. FML

by CamoElla / 02/19/2012 at 12:49am / United States / Kids

Today, it's been one week since my demented grandma babysat my five-year-old daughter while my husband took me to a fancy restaurant. Now she's taken to screaming and calling me a "damn commie" whenever I discipline or say no to her. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2012 at 7:58pm / United States / Kids