Keiren

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Offline (the 01/14/2014 at 7:18am)

Keiren

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 18 July 1977 (39 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5137
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Keiren : Nothing to see here, move along.

Keiren's page activity

Visits<b>zeropointnine</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 1:27am<b>CloudEnvy</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 6:37am<b>Shmatterhorn</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 3:49am<b>chowE</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 9:53pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 7:22pm<b>whinthy</b> - the 01/02/2013 at 12:49am<b>EyesofStone</b> - the 12/25/2012 at 1:20am<b>lmc94</b> - the 12/19/2012 at 12:10pm<b>outoftown</b> - the 11/17/2012 at 3:09pm

Keiren's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of Keiren's badges

Keiren's favorite FMLs

Today, at my workplace, I saw a system crashing. I mean literally, my manager was throwing my colleague's laptop at him while shouting around the office. This is only my second day. FML

by in_hardik / 06/10/2012 at 9:14pm / United States / Work

Today, I drove my drunk sister home after a wild night of partying. She did not go to bed as I expected; instead, she laid in the bathtub and cried every time I left her. Now it's 3AM, and she's using her bra as a lasso for various objects in the room. The best part is I work in 4 hours. FML

by eddie818 / 06/10/2012 at 3:54am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, neither of my parents fought for my custody. FML

by Anon / 06/10/2012 at 12:19am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I snuck out of the house for a night on the town. When I got back, I found all the doors and windows bolted shut. My sister's laughing face at my bedroom window suggests I'll be spending the rest of the night outside. FML

by cock sauce / 06/09/2012 at 5:15pm / Switzerland (Luzern) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was napping when my little brother cut off huge chunks of my hair. He thought it would turn me into the older brother he always wanted. He's 8. FML

by TimeForAHairCut / 06/08/2012 at 7:44pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, during the early hours, I got hungry and went to grab something to eat. I entered the kitchen, only to see my stark-naked dad sitting at the table, eating cereal and reading the paper. He just nodded at me and said, "Son." I think I need a new pair of eyes. FML

by Rohirus / 06/07/2012 at 7:09pm / Sweden / Miscellaneous

Today, I pulled a neck muscle while head-banging. I wasn't at a concert, and I'm not in a heavy metal band, but I do pretend that I am while I'm in the shower. FML

by Anonymous / 06/06/2012 at 2:21pm / United States / Health

Today, my mother is trying to convince me to divorce my husband. He has a tattoo of a skull on his shoulder and she believes this means he kills people. FML

by facepalm / 06/06/2012 at 4:06am / United States (California) / Love

Today, while I was on stage dancing for a competition dress rehearsal, my top fell off, exposing my breasts. I was really embarrassed, but fortunately no one said anything about it. That is until a kid in the audience came up to me and said, "That was a disappointment." FML

by KenzFell / 06/05/2012 at 3:27am / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML

by Scared / 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, my 24-year-old brother tried to convince me that Hogwarts is real, because there is no way a person could have written that based on imagination. My parents agreed with him. FML

by nanall / 06/04/2012 at 3:19am / United States / Kids

Today, I went to the hospital for stomach pains, and was told that it sounds like I have an ovarian cyst. My mom went into a rage, screaming that I'd lied to her about being a virgin. Despite the doctor explaining that sexual activity has nothing to do with it, she refuses to believe him. FML

by Briscuit / 06/01/2012 at 5:05pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while sitting in my Forensic Psychology class, my professor listed all of the main traits that indicate someone may very well be a sociopath. Every single trait described my fiancé perfectly. FML

by Getmeout / 05/31/2012 at 2:50am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I had a babysitting job. When I got there, the parents were rushing out the door and told me they'd left instructions for the kids on the table. The first bullet point stated that the oldest was convinced she is possessed by the devil, but just to ignore it. Three more hours to go. FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2012 at 9:55pm / United States (Iowa) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend ended our relationship. He called me from his mobile phone, claimed to be a trauma surgeon, and told me with a bad German accent that my "boyfriend" had been in a fatal car crash earlier in the day. What the hell is wrong with this idiot? FML

by Anonymous / 05/23/2012 at 1:20pm / Switzerland (Zurich) / Love