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Keiren

Offline (the 01/14/2014 at 7:18am) | Search for a member

Keiren

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 18 July 1977 (37 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2185
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Keiren : Nothing to see here, move along.

Keiren's page activity

Visits<b>zeropointnine</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 1:27am<b>CloudEnvy</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 6:37am<b>Shmatterhorn</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 3:49am<b>chowE</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 9:53pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 7:22pm<b>whinthy</b> - the 01/02/2013 at 12:49am<b>EyesofStone</b> - the 12/25/2012 at 1:20am<b>lmc94</b> - the 12/19/2012 at 12:10pm<b>outoftown</b> - the 11/17/2012 at 3:09pm

Keiren's FML badges

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

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Keiren's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

#20116072
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23196) - you deserved it (4264)

On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)

Today, a haunted house opened up next to my restaurant and they've gotten into the habit of scaring me as I'm cleaning up at night. They stay open for another month. FML

#20111545
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19628) - you deserved it (1803)

On 10/11/2012 at 1:28am - work - by Wolf145 - United States (California)

Today, I received a drunken prank call from a girl I didn't know around 1am. I don't know what's sadder, that I carried out the conversation for 30 minutes, or that this was the first girl to call me in over a year. FML

#20087914
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18720) - you deserved it (2412)

On 09/25/2012 at 9:38am - misc - by badluckryan - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, during lunch break at work, the bitter departmental rivalry blew out of control, when one of the glorified thugs from HR started a fistfight with my shift supervisor. I rushed in to break it up, but only succeeded in getting sucker-punched into next week. FML

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

#20015702
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31007) - you deserved it (8567)

On 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by diggingaplotforone - United States (California)

Today, I was driving down a dark country road with the windows down. Suddenly, a giant barn owl flew through my side-window and smacked into my head, causing me to drive into a ditch. FML

#20008924
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24779) - you deserved it (2398)

On 08/08/2012 at 1:59am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to find my cat has gone into heat. Her favorite thing to do right now is sticking her ass in my face and howling like a Nazgûl. FML

#19992743
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19428) - you deserved it (3997)

On 07/30/2012 at 2:05pm - animals - by soph511 (woman) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

#19983117
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26018) - you deserved it (12367)

On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

#19967014
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24210) - you deserved it (4337)

On 07/21/2012 at 4:00am - kids - by It was the 11 year old - United States (Texas)

Today, my father, who is going through a serious mid-life crisis, walked into my room, told me to "sit the fuck down," and spent the next two hours ranting about how the Lord of the Rings books prophesy the end of the world this December, and that Sauron is an analogy for "corrupt bankers." FML

#19950706
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20347) - you deserved it (1762)

On 07/17/2012 at 4:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

#19877341
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32988) - you deserved it (4779)

On 07/01/2012 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML

#19817936
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21805) - you deserved it (5790)

On 06/20/2012 at 10:09am - animals - by anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

#19776975
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40701) - you deserved it (3864)

On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that instead of training my cat, she has been training me. She now refuses to drink anything but running tap water, and yowls loudly early in the morning at my bedroom door to be fed. FML

#19773709
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15495) - you deserved it (6985)

On 06/11/2012 at 10:40pm - animals - by Anon127 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML

#19772012
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24506) - you deserved it (3300)

On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)



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