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keeegs

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  • Number of visits : 15
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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keeegs's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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keeegs's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my daughter trying to cut her wrist with a plastic spoon. When I asked her why, she said her friend Lucy did that so her parents would buy her pretty things. My daughter and Lucy are both four years old. FML

#20902425
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44288) - you deserved it (3263)

On 09/30/2013 at 7:54pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, while working as a swim instructor, I started singing the hokey pokey to get all the kids used to putting their faces in the water. One of the kids was covering his ears. When I asked him why, he said "because you were singing." He's 3. FML

#20842523
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38698) - you deserved it (5978)

On 08/18/2013 at 12:35am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized that getting wasted before finals is not a good idea. I sat down in the test hall, reached into my bag for a pencil, and found instead three baby carrots and a spoon. FML

#20757745
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18670) - you deserved it (58205)

On 07/01/2013 at 10:39am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got served paperwork stating that my ex-fiancée is suing me again for child support. About 7 years ago, I proved via DNA testing within the court system that I was not the father the first time. I see a talk show in my future. FML

#20570526
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39083) - you deserved it (2541)

On 04/01/2013 at 7:18pm - money - by haku4u (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to help my little sister do a first-grade project for school. For one part, they have to draw a picture of their role model. She drew a whale, and I asked, "A whale is your role model?" She laughed and said, "No! It's you!" FML

#20532338
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35377) - you deserved it (5374)

On 03/05/2013 at 3:19pm - kids - by peace out - United States (South Carolina)

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

#20402533
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27081) - you deserved it (12836)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by Rhine (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, I had a presentation in French class. I was so nervous, the first thing I said when I got up there was, "Hola." FML

#20193303
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23823) - you deserved it (4612)

On 12/06/2012 at 12:35am - work - by SpanishInFrenchClass (woman) - United States

Today, I have four flights. I spent last night projectile vomiting with food poisoning. By the time I got to the airport it had progressed to liquid diarhea. Two flights in, I got my period. FML

#19870672
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49675) - you deserved it (2270)

On 06/30/2012 at 8:48am - health - by Jobby (woman) -

Today, I asked my dad why there were no photos of me on the wall. He replied, "Every time you disappoint us we burn one." FML

#19586113
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29136) - you deserved it (4671)

On 05/07/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by N (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML

#11542106
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28435) - you deserved it (23673)

On 06/29/2010 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to a female friend of mine, because I thought they would get along. Apparently they get along better than I expected; she dumped me for the other girl. FML

#6589221
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34299) - you deserved it (3794)

On 12/03/2009 at 8:14pm - love - by Sub (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend went to the aquarium. We were noticing the fishy smell, and I had made a comment about it. Then my boyfriend slowly, and seductively whispers into my ear, "It sort of reminds me of how you smell." FML

#2660481
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55154) - you deserved it (12161)

On 06/06/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after the church service was over, my two year old granddaughter started to sing into the microphone. She said, "Here Nana, you sing". I picked up the microphone and sang " Jesus Loves Me". She took the microphone back and said, "No he doesn't." FML

#2076493
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59733) - you deserved it (8449)

On 05/19/2009 at 10:04am - kids - by nana (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to a bar with two guys I was interested in. The first I'd been trying to go out with all semester. The second I had gone to dinner with and he seemed nice. I was the designated driver. They drank too much and, on the way home, hooked up in the back seat. FML

#1014149
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98611) - you deserved it (15007)

On 04/16/2009 at 4:40am - intimacy - by sad_gay (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom and I went to Winn-Dixie. I told her I was going to a different isle 5 minutes later I hear my name on the intercom to go to the front of the store. As I go I see my mom crying, she comes and hugs me and tells me she thought I was lost. Im 22, I had my cell phone, and I drove there. FML

#992222
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (122261) - you deserved it (7046)

On 04/15/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by SwimSquid (woman) - United States (Florida)



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