About Keastwood013 : After reading the
the sentince, you are
now aware that the
the human brain
often does not
inform you that the
the word "the" has been
Repeated twice every time
I have poor spelling. Sorry. Its a miracle the internet has let me live for so long.
Im not here for the FML itself, but the comments
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23220) - you deserved it (4128)
On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States
Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28611) - you deserved it (6420)
On 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24813) - you deserved it (21134)
On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I've recently gained weight so I bought an exercise video. I started it right away in my room on the top floor. My younger sister screamed and ran outside a few minutes later. She thought it was an earthquake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28801) - you deserved it (8543)
On 07/14/2010 at 12:32am - health - by sarah - United States
Today, I had a wrestling match. Someone put Viagra in my waterbottle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39637) - you deserved it (3052)
On 01/22/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by wrestler133 - Sent from mobile version
Today, a Milkbone commercial came on TV. At the end of it, they whistle and throw a Milkbone across the screen, prompting my 100lb German Shepherd to leap off the couch and run head on into my new plasma screen TV. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39605) - you deserved it (3777)
On 11/03/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by doglover (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44819) - you deserved it (2387)
On 08/25/2009 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29935) - you deserved it (3052)
On 08/21/2009 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by Ben (man) - United States
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
I agree, your life sucks (177788) - you deserved it (25395)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The first time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14278) - you deserved it (36671)
On 05/25/2009 at 6:35am - misc - by AquaRevolver (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49700) - you deserved it (17145)
On 05/17/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was at the doctor and I had to get a "finger stick" in the lab to get blood drawn. There was a 6 year old boy waiting to go next. He was terrified. His mother told him to "watch this brave girl go first." I panicked and began to hyperventilate. The boy fainted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38395) - you deserved it (6781)
On 05/16/2009 at 11:20am - misc - by bosssssssss765432 - United States (New York)
Today, I was in a tour group going through a cave and our guide stopped, turned off the lights, and told us to be quiet so we could feel absolute silence. I farted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23561) - you deserved it (44457)
On 04/22/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by fartmaster (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my little 7 year old brother asked me what horny meant whilst in the car with my parents. When I wouldn't tell him what it meant he screamed, "I'm getting horny!" at the top of his lungs, and told my parents that I told him to say it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53973) - you deserved it (5233)
On 03/21/2009 at 11:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (307623) - you deserved it (40962)
On 03/20/2009 at 12:15am - kids - by ScoobieDoo (woman) - United States (Washington)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
