Keastwood013

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Keastwood013

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 13 June 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1532
  • Number of comments : 557
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About Keastwood013 : After reading the
the sentince, you are
now aware that the
the human brain
often does not
inform you that the
the word "the" has been
Repeated twice every time

I have poor spelling. Sorry. Its a miracle the internet has let me live for so long.

Im not here for the FMLs as much as the comments

I surf, play paintball, xbox, and i like to draw and take pictures.

i like to meet new people, so please, feel free to message me

Keastwood013's page activity

Visits<b>weedle99</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 12:44pm<b>LoneWolf2879</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 9:35am<b>Plastinate</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 5:59am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 5:47am<b>shay_serendipity</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 7:08pm<b>BungalowBear</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 1:24pm<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 1:40am<b>Jazzy1008</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 4:57pm<b>mcronin</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 6:48am<b>Jazzyw1997</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 11:09am<b>Sexomancer</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 8:47pm<b>StealthyJoe</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 10:37pm<b>chirockz</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 9:04pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 10:07am<b>cmonger</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 7:31am<b>StreakyKittyCat</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 9:16pm<b>Cortezthe1st</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 10:18am<b>Dccj456</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 3:03pm

Keastwood013's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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Keastwood013's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

by Andrew / 08/23/2011 at 10:46am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

by Username / 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm / Kids

Today, I've recently gained weight so I bought an exercise video. I started it right away in my room on the top floor. My younger sister screamed and ran outside a few minutes later. She thought it was an earthquake. FML

by sarah / 07/14/2010 at 12:32am / United States / Health

Today, a Milkbone commercial came on TV. At the end of it, they whistle and throw a Milkbone across the screen, prompting my 100lb German Shepherd to leap off the couch and run head on into my new plasma screen TV. FML

by doglover / 11/03/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2009 at 8:52pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML

by Ben / 08/21/2009 at 5:28pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

by ....... / 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The first time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML

by AquaRevolver / 05/25/2009 at 6:35am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2009 at 9:48am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the doctor and I had to get a "finger stick" in the lab to get blood drawn. There was a 6 year old boy waiting to go next. He was terrified. His mother told him to "watch this brave girl go first." I panicked and began to hyperventilate. The boy fainted. FML

by bosssssssss765432 / 05/16/2009 at 11:20am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in a tour group going through a cave and our guide stopped, turned off the lights, and told us to be quiet so we could feel absolute silence. I farted. FML

by fartmaster / 04/22/2009 at 3:10pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my little 7 year old brother asked me what horny meant whilst in the car with my parents. When I wouldn't tell him what it meant he screamed, "I'm getting horny!" at the top of his lungs, and told my parents that I told him to say it. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 11:38pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

by ScoobieDoo / 03/20/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Washington) / Kids