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Keastwood013

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Keastwood013

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 13 June 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 943
  • Number of comments : 557
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About Keastwood013 : After reading the
the sentince, you are
now aware that the
the human brain
often does not
inform you that the
the word "the" has been
Repeated twice every time

I have poor spelling. Sorry. Its a miracle the internet has let me live for so long.

Im not here for the FMLs as much as the comments

I surf, play paintball, xbox, and i like to draw and take pictures.

i like to meet new people, so please, feel free to message me

Keastwood013's page activity

Visits<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 11:04pm<b>CFB_FRS</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 10:15pm<b>thatcrazygiirl</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 11:32am<b>FiskBlack</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 5:52pm<b>nyancait</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 2:54am<b>agent4442</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 11:19pm<b>Masai</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 1:37pm<b>LeaAnne94</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 3:31am<b>Sapphiresin</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 11:38am<b>i_wuz_nver_here</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 7:47pm<b>parism143</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 7:15pm<b>ughzzz</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 5:57pm<b>Xotoolyxo</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 6:30pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 4:50pm<b>aussieborn</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 1:41am<b>forever_a_zebra</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 8:40pm<b>threer</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 9:17am<b>pizzaturtles</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 1:40am

Keastwood013's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Keastwood013's badges

Keastwood013's favorite FMLs

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

#20466086
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35143) - you deserved it (3681)

On 01/18/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by Keastwood013 - United States

Today, I asked a girl I like to the movies. Wanting her to lean on me and stay in my arms during the movie, I chose a horror film. I screamed like a pussy the whole time. FML

#20078928
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7627) - you deserved it (38370)

On 09/19/2012 at 5:27am - love - by pussyface96 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, an unknown number left me a lengthy voicemail of what sounds like two people having sex. This is the closest I've gotten to real-life sex in 2 years. I listened to it three times. FML

#20058325
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26543) - you deserved it (8884)

On 09/05/2012 at 12:44am - intimacy - by anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, the girl I went on an awkward date with two weeks ago showed up at university and started smashing my car with a bat. She then broke down in tears and alternated between declaring her love, and cussing me out for "cheating" on her. FML

#20051466
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25357) - you deserved it (2069)

On 08/31/2012 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after finishing a song during karaoke, a man came up to me and held out his hand. Quite flattered, I shook it, said thanks and that I was glad he enjoyed it. Turns out he was next and just wanted the microphone. FML

#20049122
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16294) - you deserved it (8540)

On 08/30/2012 at 4:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML

#20037487
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9163) - you deserved it (24837)

On 08/23/2012 at 12:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML

#19166851
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17131) - you deserved it (29434)

On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)

Today, my parents dragged me along to a family soccer game. I got so bored watching a bunch of grown men practically buttfucking each other between kicking balls around the field, that I fell asleep. I woke up a few hours later to an empty field and had to walk five miles back home. FML

#19157440
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15106) - you deserved it (26845)

On 02/24/2012 at 11:18pm - misc - by so bored -__- (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920
216 comments

Today, I got really bored so I posted on Facebook "Someone should kidnap me for the day." My mom commented, "The only things willing to kidnap you are aliens, and that would be because they'd mistaken you for a cow." 16 people liked her comment. FML

#18860865
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35738) - you deserved it (10132)

On 01/20/2012 at 10:15am - misc - by LonerCow (woman) - United States

Today, it's Friday the 13th. I've never been superstitious, and I figured it would be a normal day, that is until my hot water heater exploded and rained water into my downstairs neighbour's apartment for two hours before anyone noticed. FML

#18795817
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21322) - you deserved it (2001)

On 01/13/2012 at 1:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML

#18390822
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34907) - you deserved it (5301)

On 11/30/2011 at 12:39am - work - by immy504 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML

#18234448
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40409) - you deserved it (7063)

On 11/13/2011 at 1:53am - kids - by weswithaute - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

#18022495
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51771) - you deserved it (16533)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

#18013165
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18294) - you deserved it (37033)

On 10/18/2011 at 2:55am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)



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