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Kdoodha's favorite FMLs
Today, my doctor told me to buy some KY Jelly and a dildo to help "loosen me up" so sex isn't so painful. I haven't been able to have sex for 6 months because it hurts so badly, and now my doctor has basically told me to go fuck myself. FML
by painfulintercourse / 11/22/2010 at 2:36pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/17/2010 at 1:55am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML
by ukfan / 10/06/2010 at 12:01pm / United States / Animals
Today, I took my dogs to an empty park. While they were running around, I laid down in the grass to read a book. Someone thought I was a dead body and called the cops. The police and paramedics showed up. This is the second time it's happened. FML
by tracie / 09/21/2010 at 8:00pm / United States (Kansas) / Animals
by Anonymous / 09/06/2010 at 12:25am / United States (North Dakota) / Love
by yggiz / 08/29/2010 at 1:02am / United States (Florida) / Health
by Joel / 08/25/2010 at 3:13pm / United States (California) / Work
by mc_dreamy / 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
by superconfused16 / 08/20/2010 at 6:36pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, it's the third day since my mum quit smoking, and I realised that her health-drive is having a negative effect on my own health when she bitch slapped me down the stairs because she didn't get a joke I told her. FML
by Thepunchline / 08/11/2010 at 5:19am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Health
Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML
by Indigo_Kitten / 08/07/2010 at 9:05pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by kinky / 08/04/2010 at 8:24pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by anon / 07/31/2010 at 1:04pm / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Intimacy
by rofld / 07/14/2010 at 12:47pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…