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Katilikesturtles's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 08/05/2011 at 6:57pm / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Intimacy
by FML / 07/29/2011 at 12:20am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
Today, I was out shopping. It was fine until my dental crossbow broke as I was laughing. The springs locked, and I couldn't close my mouth. The orthodontist couldn't see me for two hours, leaving me to walk around town with my mouth hanging open like a psychopath. FML
by rockyrocket / 04/26/2011 at 3:19pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Health
by Anonymous / 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find that it felt wet and smelt funny. Apparently, my younger brother cut a hole in the butt of it and used it to masturbate. FML
by Anonymous / 09/21/2010 at 6:07pm / United States / Intimacy
by juli / 07/24/2010 at 1:47pm / Taiwan (T'ai-pei) / Love
by munchkin / 10/26/2009 at 2:35am / Miscellaneous
Today, after 9 months in our relationship, my boyfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. We had incredible, mind-blowing sex. An hour later, he broke up with me because apparently "my orgasm face is ugly." FML
by misopower / 07/25/2009 at 2:50pm / China (Henan) / Intimacy
Today, I went into work to set up a new store. There was a lot of lifting so I dressed casual. This happened to be the day the owner brought in his conservative family to check out the store. I was wearing a shirt that says "everyone poops" and has a donkey and elephant pooping. FML
by anonymous / 05/04/2009 at 1:40am / United States (Michigan) / Work
Today, I spotted one of my friends using the ATM outside our school's university center. I crept up behind him, grabbed his shoulders abruptly, and shouted in my best deep man-voice, "Give me all your money!" Turned out to be a poor, unsuspecting freshman. He gave me his money. FML
by Anonymous / 04/22/2009 at 10:22pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, at the dinner table my parents were talking to my younger sister about her new boyfriend and how they should be taking it slow. My sister then pointed out that that's not what I do. My dad said, "Believe me I know- your sister's easier to get into than community college." FML
by Noname / 03/13/2009 at 4:54pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Bear / 02/01/2009 at 12:38pm / United Kingdom (Reading) / Intimacy
by Miko / 02/01/2009 at 11:45am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
- Today, straight after we had sex, my boyfriend went to the bathroom. He stayed in there for a long… Today, after shaking my boss's hand, I noticed that he had a piece of toilet paper stuck to one of… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because…