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KatiesSwaggin's favorite FMLs
Today, I woke up with a hangover, but went to school anyway without showering, applying makeup, and still wearing my pajama bottoms. While taking the subway, I bumped into my ex-boyfriend who I hadn't seen a year. His new girlfriend looked at me and said, "You look... tired." FML
by babygurl69 / 01/20/2009 at 4:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
Today, I was jerking one off and my cat jumped out of nowhere and dug his claws into my shaft. Attempting to knock him away resulted in three nasty gashes... that I now have to explain to my wife. FML
by stanDman / 01/19/2009 at 1:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Wenny / 01/18/2009 at 7:41am / United States (Connecticut) / Love
by stellarshaun / 01/16/2009 at 5:10pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got together with a small gathering of friends in a bar. I go up to the bar to order something, but with all the music and noise, the barman can't hear what I'm trying to say, so he leans forward, cocking his ear towards me. For some reason, I thought he was being friendly so I kissed him as if we were saying hello to each other. FML
by Noname / 01/07/2009 at 10:07am / United Kingdom (Wokingham) / Intimacy
Today, I dressed in my sexiest clothes to meet my new boyfriend at a restaurant. As I was a bit early, I took the opportunity to smoke a cigarette outside while I waited. The restaurant owner came out and said, "Hey, you. Go and 'work' somewhere else, please." FML
by Shameonme / 10/26/2008 at 12:04pm / Morocco / Work
Today, for the first time I sat next to a hot babe. I was feeling nervous, nevertheless, I managed to shyly ask her phone number. It’s only when I arrived back home that I realized there was a digit missing. FML
by mehdi / 10/13/2008 at 4:20am / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, I was looking at my recommendations on Amazon, which included several vibrators. Just a few… Today, I went camping with my girlfriend and best friend. They are now having blood-curdling sex in… Today, my grandma added to my elephant collection by giving me some underwear with elephant ears on…