About Katiekhalifa : Pierced & Tattooed. Bookworm. Cat enthusiast.
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Today, my dog was licking the dishes in the dishwasher when his collar got stuck on it. Then he got scared of the dishwasher rack following him and ran away really fast. Now I have no dishes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14341) - you deserved it (4408)
On 06/28/2012 at 1:20am - animals - by lala8940 - United States
Today, while I was waiting at a red light, another car slammed into me. By the time I got out to assess the damage, the other car was empty and there was nobody in sight. Either Moby Dickwad was abducted by aliens mid-crash, or he was behind on his insurance payments. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17298) - you deserved it (1074)
On 06/24/2012 at 4:51pm - misc - by Boar - United States (New Mexico)
Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23070) - you deserved it (2056)
On 06/18/2012 at 7:38am - misc - by DwarfFrog - United States
Today, I realised that my boyfriend calls me "bitch" more often than he calls me by my actual name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21956) - you deserved it (11082)
On 06/17/2012 at 10:58am - love - by rosabelle91 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21175) - you deserved it (1907)
On 06/12/2012 at 9:02am - love - by fledermausi (woman) - Hungary (Budapest)
Today, my grandmother saw me for the first time in years. "Not all your clothes have to be as tight as condoms, you tramp," is probably the nicest greeting she's ever given me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20697) - you deserved it (7099)
On 06/12/2012 at 7:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)
Today, I talked to my father for the first time in several years. I proudly told him that I have been attending Beauty School. He looked me up and down and said, "Doesn't look like you've learned much." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16934) - you deserved it (1884)
On 06/11/2012 at 7:39pm - misc - by beautyschool22 (woman) - United States
Today, while driving home from work, I noticed the driver next to me was happily chatting on her phone. I fucking despise these would-be murderers, so I slammed my horn to signal my disgust. She panicked and swerved straight into my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13847) - you deserved it (43646)
On 06/09/2012 at 5:35pm - misc - by k - United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin)
Today, there is an annular solar eclipse. As I was buying the last pair of solar glasses to watch the eclipse with, some jerk snatched them out of my hands and bolted off with them. I now have to make the decision between watching the eclipse and not going blind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13513) - you deserved it (2344)
On 05/20/2012 at 7:35pm - misc - by VocalizedBoar - United States (New Mexico)
Today, the novelty of shaving a heart into my pubic hair for my wife vanished, when I woke up to find a collection of scabs around my pubes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9836) - you deserved it (8566)
On 04/28/2012 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Matt (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19324) - you deserved it (3806)
On 03/23/2012 at 10:30pm - intimacy - by justgreat - United States (Florida)
Today, I was waiting for a call from a job I had applied for. When the phone rang, I ran as fast I could up the stairs, falling and slamming my shin on the way. The call? It was a women asking me, "Hi, do you have time to learn about our lord Jesus Christ?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (16785) - you deserved it (3558)
On 03/22/2012 at 12:56am - work - by Atheist (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8164) - you deserved it (45179)
On 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by brooke (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I decided to finally try out the veggie slicer I bought a few months ago to make healthy homemade potato chips. Along with the sliced potatoes, I am now missing about a quarter inch chunk of skin from the side of my hand and quite a bit of blood. At least the chips were good. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10986) - you deserved it (8447)
On 03/15/2012 at 3:53am - health - by missgayle319 - United States (Texas)
Today, my dog wanted to go upstairs, but she has stitches and was having trouble. So I carried her to the top, at which point she peed all over my carpet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14609) - you deserved it (2171)
On 03/04/2012 at 12:51am - animals - by raven_teen_titan - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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