About Katiekhalifa : Pierced & Tattooed. Bookworm. Cat enthusiast.
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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19373) - you deserved it (29953)
On 01/26/2013 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18627) - you deserved it (1270)
On 10/04/2012 at 2:10pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, my dog head-butted me in the mouth so hard that my lip split open. Twenty minutes later, I unthinkingly sprayed perfume directly into the wound. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4730) - you deserved it (15083)
On 08/26/2012 at 2:27pm - animals - by g'day cunt (woman) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, it's garbage day. My mom accidentally threw away a receipt she needed to return something and told me to go get it. While I was looking for it, a cop gave me hell for "stealing recyclables on private property." This all happened in my front lawn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15878) - you deserved it (1049)
On 08/14/2012 at 2:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my mom's intense fear of tornadoes caused her to break into the bathroom, drag me off the toilet while I was changing my tampon, and drag me to the basement with my pants around my ankles to join my father, brother, and my brother's best friend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26739) - you deserved it (1236)
On 08/04/2012 at 8:44pm - misc - by m - United States (Indiana)
Today, I had my eyebrows waxed for my senior pictures. After manhandling me, the cosmetologist managed to "accidentally" take my whole eyebrow off. It looks like I'll be remembered forevermore as the girl with one eyebrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15194) - you deserved it (1869)
On 07/27/2012 at 1:46pm - misc - by booo - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was swimming in my pool with my two sons. A few hours later while on Facebook, I saw that one of them had liked a photo with the caption, "Peeing in a pool, best feeling ever." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15385) - you deserved it (1642)
On 07/23/2012 at 12:28am - kids - by poolboy -
Today, my neighbor called me on vacation to tell me that she let my mother into my house to feed my fish. I don't have fish, and my mother passed away 3 years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25810) - you deserved it (1785)
On 07/22/2012 at 11:48pm - misc - by My_Name_Is_Zach -
Today, I got to live my life's dream of going whale watching. Apparently my true life's dream was to get extremely seasick, sunburned to a crisp, and pay $60 to see only seagulls in the end. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12929) - you deserved it (2510)
On 07/22/2012 at 9:05pm - animals - by disappointed (woman) -
Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28218) - you deserved it (1266)
On 07/08/2012 at 2:58am - misc - by JadedBaker (woman) - United States
Today, I was brutally dumped over webcam, by my boyfriend, who was taking a dump with the laptop on his lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20176) - you deserved it (1803)
On 07/06/2012 at 6:51am - love - by Toilettrash (woman) - United States
Today, I bought a home at a bargain. It will need 5 grand in repairs to fix plumbing and electric, but it's mine. When I pulled up the listing to show pictures to my friends, there was a new listing that was in the same neighborhood, and a larger, nicer house that is move in ready. Same price. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17865) - you deserved it (3512)
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to throw pebbles at my bedroom window in the middle of the night. It triggered the burglar alarm, which woke up everyone in the house. If my parents didn't know I had a boyfriend before, they certainly do now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15439) - you deserved it (2753)
On 07/01/2012 at 4:01pm - love - by Jacqueline (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I discovered my cat's favorite hobby: sitting butthole-first on my favorite makeup brush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17184) - you deserved it (2113)
On 06/30/2012 at 4:10am - misc - by audreyav - United States (Oregon)
Today, I learned that I do not possess the upper body, core, or leg strength to hold my girlfriend up during sex. I simultaneously collapsed and dropped her onto her coffee table. We are now both being treated at the hospital; her for glass wounds, me for a concussion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10564) - you deserved it (18305)
On 06/29/2012 at 4:47am - intimacy - by bob (man) - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
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