Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Online | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 November 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3244
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Kataclysm97 : I am awfully random so often I don't make much potatoes. If that's a problem for anyone, I recommend clicking away right meow. Seriously guys, I don't know how much unimoose-landshark awesomeness you can handle. Honestly though, I'm nice to people who are nice to me unless that someone is being a PEDOBEAR! I know you people are out there. STAHP IT! Shoot me a message IF YOU DARE! >:3

Kataclysm97's page activity

Visits<b>c_wyld</b> - 35 minutes ago<b>dakatabg</b> - 6 hours ago<b>aruden</b> - 8 hours ago<b>cressybryant</b> - 11 hours ago<b>Role448</b> - 11 hours ago<b>michaelm1290</b> - 13 hours ago<b>rkdstp1995</b> - 15 hours ago<b>steveykinz0967</b> - 18 hours ago<b>tyler_jay</b> - yesterday at 12:53am<b>knightofdarkness</b> - yesterday at 9:21pm<b>maria95aa</b> - yesterday at 8:19am<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 7:26am<b>HaKai13</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 4:11pm<b>zjay</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 10:45pm<b>steveO95</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 2:24pm<b>big_papa_</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 12:18am<b>MrsHaxxo</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 8:07pm<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 9:46am

Fucked!<b>rkdstp1995</b> - 12 hours ago<b>c_wyld</b> - 23 hours ago<b>dakatabg</b> - 24 hours ago<b>steveO95</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 5:07am<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 8:08am<b>FreshToDeathEf</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 7:48pm<b>big_papa_</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 4:31am<b>zjay</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 10:08pm<b>PITSB</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 4:55am<b>Windows_98</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 4:16pm<b>Xx_Slayer_xX</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 11:39pm<b>rob02</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 12:57pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 12:35pm<b>ndnpride88</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 4:32am<b>loche123</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 3:25pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 1:02am<b>thinblue32</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 5:34pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 8:16am

Kataclysm97's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Kataclysm97's badges

Kataclysm97's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend let out a horrible fart in the middle of sex. Even though it was clearly his, he gave me disgusted look, called me a dirty bitch, then kept going. Let's just say I didn't finish. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23145) - you deserved it (2104)

On 04/19/2015 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I explained to my sister that the reason she isn't getting job offers is probably because her résumé is in Comic Sans and contains TXT language and a lot of typos. She thanked me for my help by calling me a "clueless horse-fucker" and telling me to shut my mouth. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26875) - you deserved it (2008)

On 04/03/2015 at 2:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my sister shot my dog with my airsoft gun. When I told my parents, she put on the fakest sobbing I've ever heard, said she didn't even know how to use a gun, and that she saw me shoot my own dog. They believed her and think I need psychiatric help. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31410) - you deserved it (1986)

On 03/21/2015 at 1:36am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, during a meal out with my team and bosses, I wasn't drinking. The waiter complained, "If you're not ordering alcohol, how am I supposed to take advantage of you later?" I'm not sure what's worse, the rapey pre-dinner joke or the awkward silence as my colleagues looked on. FML

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML


I agree, your life sucks (44360) - you deserved it (4020)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML


I agree, your life sucks (18770) - you deserved it (35632)

On 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm - misc - by SDCore (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom and I went to exchange a massive stuffed animal, which was meant for my niece. I was carrying it when I saw a really hot guy looking at me funny. My mom snickered and told him that I never go anywhere without "George". FML


I agree, your life sucks (31180) - you deserved it (2883)

On 12/28/2014 at 1:52am - misc - by thanks a lot mom - United States (California)

Today, my mom finally got a Netflix account after months of me begging. When I asked her what the login was, she refused to give it to me. She said, "Netflix will know it's not me and then they'll cancel our account." FML

Today, my boss at my new call center job said he'd gotten complaints about me. Apparently I sound "too black" and it's "upsetting" some of our customers. I don't know what that even means, but my boss said I need to "tone it down or we're gonna have some problems". FML


I agree, your life sucks (36808) - you deserved it (3494)

On 12/03/2014 at 4:21pm - work - by WTF - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized my anger management has hit a new low when I screamed at a goose for being a goose. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27818) - you deserved it (7534)

On 12/01/2014 at 11:38am - misc - by WickedLittleDoll - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend was giving me a back massage while I was laying on my stomach. A few minutes into it, he stopped. I turned around to see why; he was taking a picture of my butt. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29421) - you deserved it (6464)

On 11/02/2014 at 12:51am - love - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I volunteered to tutor a 17-year-old girl in science. I had to explain in detail of what the real Big Bang theory was, as she only knew about the show. Later, I heard I was reported by her because apparently, "I was trying to convert her to Scientology." I now know why she needed a tutor. FML

Today, I confronted my girlfriend after catching her cheating on me. After she finished crying, she had the brass balls to say she'd understand if I needed a couple of weeks to forgive her, and asked me for bus fare so she could go tell the other guy they could only be friends now. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37756) - you deserved it (3055)

On 10/18/2014 at 2:44pm - love - by yee-whore (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML


I agree, your life sucks (58392) - you deserved it (7243)

On 07/13/2014 at 3:46am - intimacy - by NoSexForMe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after a power outage at my house, my 14-year-old brother was genuinely confused as to why our flashlights still worked if we had no electricity. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42620) - you deserved it (3944)

On 07/06/2014 at 2:04pm - misc - by idiot bro (man) - United States (Maine)

FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: