Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Kataclysm97

Offline (19 hours ago) | Search for a member

Kataclysm97

13Liked!

Kataclysm97Kataclysm97
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 25 November 1995 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2164
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Kataclysm97 : I am awfully random so often I don't make much potatoes. If that's a problem for anyone, I recommend clicking away right meow. Seriously guys, I don't know how much unimoose-landshark awesomeness you can handle. Honestly though, I'm nice to people who are nice to me unless that someone is being a PEDOBEAR! I know you people are out there. STAHP IT! Shoot me a message IF YOU DARE! >:3

Kataclysm97's page activity

Visits<b>ForwardUn2Dawn</b> - yesterday at 4:49am<b>doubledutchy</b> - yesterday at 4:11am<b>brainymes</b> - yesterday at 1:00am<b>APimpNamedShane</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 3:35am<b>wastedpenguin</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 12:13am<b>heffastera</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 1:48am<b>Rainhawk94</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 12:52pm<b>Internetdude</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 1:50am<b>cgart96</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 10:47pm<b>christian1509</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 12:40am<b>vlalam</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 2:24pm<b>aamir251</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 10:20am<b>Crossing</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 2:01pm<b>superwolf33</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 11:18am<b>crushcrusher</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 1:36am<b>WillyWonkaaaa</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 12:28pm<b>Manosapo</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 6:54am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 9:14pm

Liked!<b>christian1509</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 6:40am<b>Manosapo</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 5:57am<b>APimpNamedShane</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 10:15pm<b>tengo</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 1:20am<b>Darkestsoul</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 9:58am<b>EverestMelting</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 4:20pm<b>heffastera</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 12:06am<b>rolso</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 1:30am<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 9:36am<b>kAPISH</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 4:46am<b>superwolf33</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 12:06am<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 6:55pm<b>mein_blut69</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 4:46am

Kataclysm97's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of Kataclysm97's badges

Kataclysm97's favorite FMLs

Today, I volunteered to tutor a 17-year-old girl in science. I had to explain in detail of what the real Big Bang theory was, as she only knew about the show. Later, I heard I was reported by her because apparently, "I was trying to convert her to Scientology." I now know why she needed a tutor. FML

Today, I confronted my girlfriend after catching her cheating on me. After she finished crying, she had the brass balls to say she'd understand if I needed a couple of weeks to forgive her, and asked me for bus fare so she could go tell the other guy they could only be friends now. FML

#21280490
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34868) - you deserved it (2957)

On 10/18/2014 at 2:44pm - love - by yee-whore (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, after a power outage at my house, my 14-year-old brother was genuinely confused as to why our flashlights still worked if we had no electricity. FML

#21200603
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42470) - you deserved it (3936)

On 07/06/2014 at 2:04pm - misc - by idiot bro (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I let my sister use my phone to play music in the shower, expecting her to use the speakers I have. She used a ziplock bag with a hole in it to connect her headphones. Now I have a waterlogged phone and my sister still doesn't understand why it didn't work. FML

#21130991
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42620) - you deserved it (7486)

On 05/04/2014 at 11:18pm - misc - by wow. - United States (Illinois)

Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decided that if we both act like I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML

#21050194
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54532) - you deserved it (6718)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:50am - kids - by LadyDeadpool88 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend and I watched Star Trek Into Darkness together. He liked it so much that he's now chosen to yell "KHAAANNNNN!" as he cums. FML

#20933461
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41128) - you deserved it (6554)

On 10/25/2013 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by NOKHAN (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I saw a wasp on the ground, apparently injured and unable to fly. It was being mobbed by ants and looked certain to die, so I stamped on the ants to save its life. At this point it sprung up, stung me, then flew off. FML

#20932403
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36212) - you deserved it (25158)

On 10/24/2013 at 2:04pm - animals - by MBean (man) - Anguilla

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

#20910543
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43304) - you deserved it (7292)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to one of the United States Mints since he enjoys coins. He looked at the money and seriously said, "I have such a hard on". He did. FML

#20905869
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45077) - you deserved it (4697)

On 10/03/2013 at 11:38am - intimacy - by EconM - United States

Today, my wife made me go with her to dinner with her parents, despite their long-standing hatred of me. Later on, my mother-in-law muttered to me, "I made yours special for ya", smirked, then made a show of scratching at her butt-crack. FML

#20899435
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36513) - you deserved it (2512)

On 09/28/2013 at 5:01pm - misc - by ouharguohargssdf (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, at 6 in the morning, I sneezed so hard I fell off my bed. I guess I'm up for the day. FML

#20898877
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36904) - you deserved it (4412)

On 09/28/2013 at 6:53am - misc - by blackcat37 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54961) - you deserved it (27612)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I found out the hard way that my boyfriend and mother have been sending each other sexually-explicit picture messages. FML

Today, my girlfriend is upset with me for not wanting to sext. I can't sext with her because she adds 'lol' to everything which turns me off. FML

#20879249
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50703) - you deserved it (5910)

On 09/13/2013 at 2:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I officially became a divorced marriage counselor. FML

#20877295
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44308) - you deserved it (7243)

On 09/11/2013 at 5:35pm - work - by natattack - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: