Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 25 November 1995 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2306
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Kataclysm97 : I am awfully random so often I don't make much potatoes. If that's a problem for anyone, I recommend clicking away right meow. Seriously guys, I don't know how much unimoose-landshark awesomeness you can handle. Honestly though, I'm nice to people who are nice to me unless that someone is being a PEDOBEAR! I know you people are out there. STAHP IT! Shoot me a message IF YOU DARE! >:3

Kataclysm97's page activity

Visits<b>Paulvuck</b> - 6 hours ago<b>michaelm1290</b> - 7 hours ago<b>robsmit98</b> - 8 hours ago<b>Devindelon</b> - 10 hours ago<b>Mario_mane</b> - 11 hours ago<b>hayleybaaby</b> - 16 hours ago<b>Trollx</b> - 20 hours ago<b>aamir251</b> - 24 hours ago<b>colton_colton</b> - yesterday at 5:14pm<b>scottyboy417</b> - yesterday at 4:45pm<b>A07</b> - yesterday at 4:11pm<b>Lebeaugars95</b> - yesterday at 4:01pm<b>mk1hate1my1job1</b> - yesterday at 12:02am<b>gabix3</b> - yesterday at 11:08pm<b>Queen_Bitch69</b> - yesterday at 8:21pm<b>mcintosh123</b> - yesterday at 7:11pm<b>somthingstupd</b> - yesterday at 6:56pm<b>Kirito_Kazuto</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 5:09pm

Liked!<b>somthingstupd</b> - yesterday at 12:56am<b>LikeYouGiveAShit</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 8:59am<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 7:06am<b>skychu</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 10:02am<b>WeChaseClouds</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 4:33am<b>christian1509</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 6:40am<b>Manosapo</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 5:57am<b>APimpNamedShane</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 10:15pm<b>tengo</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 1:20am<b>Darkestsoul</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 9:58am<b>EverestMelting</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 4:20pm<b>heffastera</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 12:06am<b>rolso</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 1:30am<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 9:36am<b>kAPISH</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 4:46am<b>superwolf33</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 12:06am<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 6:55pm<b>mein_blut69</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 4:46am

Kataclysm97's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of Kataclysm97's badges

Kataclysm97's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend was giving me a back massage while I was laying on my stomach. A few minutes into it, he stopped. I turned around to see why; he was taking a picture of my butt. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29126) - you deserved it (6426)

On 11/02/2014 at 12:51am - love - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I volunteered to tutor a 17-year-old girl in science. I had to explain in detail of what the real Big Bang theory was, as she only knew about the show. Later, I heard I was reported by her because apparently, "I was trying to convert her to Scientology." I now know why she needed a tutor. FML

Today, I confronted my girlfriend after catching her cheating on me. After she finished crying, she had the brass balls to say she'd understand if I needed a couple of weeks to forgive her, and asked me for bus fare so she could go tell the other guy they could only be friends now. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37510) - you deserved it (3045)

On 10/18/2014 at 2:44pm - love - by yee-whore (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, after a power outage at my house, my 14-year-old brother was genuinely confused as to why our flashlights still worked if we had no electricity. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42487) - you deserved it (3937)

On 07/06/2014 at 2:04pm - misc - by idiot bro (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I let my sister use my phone to play music in the shower, expecting her to use the speakers I have. She used a ziplock bag with a hole in it to connect her headphones. Now I have a waterlogged phone and my sister still doesn't understand why it didn't work. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43286) - you deserved it (7578)

On 05/04/2014 at 11:18pm - misc - by wow. - United States (Illinois)

Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decided that if we both act like I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML


I agree, your life sucks (54574) - you deserved it (6719)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:50am - kids - by LadyDeadpool88 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend and I watched Star Trek Into Darkness together. He liked it so much that he's now chosen to yell "KHAAANNNNN!" as he cums. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41158) - you deserved it (6562)

On 10/25/2013 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by NOKHAN (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I saw a wasp on the ground, apparently injured and unable to fly. It was being mobbed by ants and looked certain to die, so I stamped on the ants to save its life. At this point it sprung up, stung me, then flew off. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36240) - you deserved it (25171)

On 10/24/2013 at 2:04pm - animals - by MBean (man) - Anguilla

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43342) - you deserved it (7294)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to one of the United States Mints since he enjoys coins. He looked at the money and seriously said, "I have such a hard on". He did. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45096) - you deserved it (4702)

On 10/03/2013 at 11:38am - intimacy - by EconM - United States

Today, my wife made me go with her to dinner with her parents, despite their long-standing hatred of me. Later on, my mother-in-law muttered to me, "I made yours special for ya", smirked, then made a show of scratching at her butt-crack. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36538) - you deserved it (2512)

On 09/28/2013 at 5:01pm - misc - by ouharguohargssdf (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, at 6 in the morning, I sneezed so hard I fell off my bed. I guess I'm up for the day. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36924) - you deserved it (4415)

On 09/28/2013 at 6:53am - misc - by blackcat37 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML


I agree, your life sucks (55001) - you deserved it (27631)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I found out the hard way that my boyfriend and mother have been sending each other sexually-explicit picture messages. FML

Today, my girlfriend is upset with me for not wanting to sext. I can't sext with her because she adds 'lol' to everything which turns me off. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50765) - you deserved it (5914)

On 09/13/2013 at 2:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: