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Kat7595's favorite FMLs
Today, I received 5 missed calls from a florist stating that they were having problems delivering a bouquet from my ex. I was thrilled at the idea of a reconciliation. Turns out however that he just got mine and his new girlfriend's phone numbers confused. FML
by Anonymous / 06/26/2013 at 3:09am / Australia / Love
by Anonymous / 06/26/2013 at 2:57am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went out on a date with a girl. Everything was going well until I shared how my family was affected by the 2010 earthquake in Haiti. She immediately got up and left, calling me a liar. Apparently, I'm "too cute" to be of Haitian descent. What the hell? FML
by Kn0wledge123 / 06/26/2013 at 1:27am / United States (Florida) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/25/2013 at 7:26pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/25/2013 at 5:45pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work
by mymomplucksbutthair / 06/25/2013 at 4:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/25/2013 at 1:16pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
by Creepedout / 06/24/2013 at 9:27pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by afraid of flying too / 06/24/2013 at 7:24pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by thanksdoc / 06/24/2013 at 6:12pm / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, I took my girlfriend of nearly 2 years out to dinner so I could propose. When the waiter brought the check, I caused a bit of a scene to get everyone's attention. When I got on my knee and proposed, she said no and asked if I could hurry up and pay, because she was embarrassed. FML
by Anonymous / 06/24/2013 at 4:26pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, my mom left for a bachelorette party. She forgot a gift, so she called me and made me go into her closet, pick out a sex toy from the "box of gag gifts", and bring it to her. Should I pick anal beads or a cock ring? FML
by Anonymous / 06/24/2013 at 2:39pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/24/2013 at 12:41pm / Belgium / Animals
Today, my ten-year-old brother came to visit me in NYC. Within ten minutes of walking on Times Square he had seen a prostitute and a partially-naked man. He now refuses to leave my apartment and screams when I try to drag him out. He's here for the next two weeks. FML
by NYCproblems / 06/24/2013 at 10:06am / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML
by jgtrflynn / 06/24/2013 at 12:37am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…