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Kat7595's favorite FMLs
by SpiderFather / 07/02/2013 at 4:01am / France / Kids
by lonely girl / 07/02/2013 at 2:47am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
by sulitak / 07/02/2013 at 2:35am / United States (Illinois) / Work
Today, I tried acid for the first time while camping with my best friend. A drunk driver smashed into my car, leaving it totaled. I had to explain the situation to a cop all while thinking my car was bleeding green ooze. FML
by Anonymous / 07/02/2013 at 1:24am / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, while waitressing, I had a huge party. When everything was said and done I saw the tip they left me. It said on a napkin, "You're pretty. You can't put a value on a compliment." And that was it. I wish compliments paid the rent. FML
by Chellybelly92 / 07/01/2013 at 11:34am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money
Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML
by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 1:50am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Neveragain / 07/01/2013 at 1:49am / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I went to get new shoes. I'm a pretty tall girl and I have proportional feet. I asked the cute guy who worked there for a size 9.5. He burst into laughter before putting on a shocked face and saying, "Oh wait... You're serious." Goodbye, self esteem. FML
by theyre not THAT big. / 07/01/2013 at 12:35am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
by Acidic Donut / 06/30/2013 at 7:48pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, my house was egged while I went out shopping. When I told my dad about it, he immediately and casually admitted to being the one who did it, asking, "You got a fucking problem with that, son?" I don't know if he's just messing with my head, or if he really did do it. FML
by thefuck / 06/30/2013 at 6:08pm / Ireland (Cavan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML
by sorry, kiddo / 06/30/2013 at 5:44pm / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Kids
by foreversingle / 06/30/2013 at 2:09pm / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Miscellaneous
by BimmerDriver / 06/30/2013 at 12:34pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, my crush kissed me for the first time. However, my hair was falling into my face and getting in the way. No problem, I wear a wig so without thinking, I simply removed it. I don't think he'll kiss me again anytime soon. FML
by Anonymous / 06/30/2013 at 6:58am / United States (Maryland) / Love
by cheerbabeXoXo / 06/29/2013 at 5:49pm / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Love
- Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex at his house. When we got there, he checked his mail… Today, I went to write "Happy Bday, I Love You" on my girlfriend's car windows to surprise her when… Today, after three unsuccessful months of trying to make me orgasm, my boyfriend finally succeeded.…