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Kat7595's FML badges
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Kat7595's favorite FMLs
Today, after a haircut, I walked to the cash register, handed the hairdresser a $20 bill and said, "Keep the change." He looked at me with a blank expression and replied, "The haircut costs 25 dollars." FML
by RickTheBoy / 07/10/2013 at 8:38am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was over my grandparents' house for my grandfather's birthday. For years they would talk to each other in Italian and I could never understand them, so I started to take an online class to teach myself Italian. Now I know all they talk about is how much they hate everything about me. FML
by mike / 07/10/2013 at 3:51am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Wtf / 07/10/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by cristy91 / 07/10/2013 at 12:01am / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML
by John / 07/09/2013 at 10:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, after spending weeks working on a song that meant a lot to me, I reluctantly posted it online. The "friend" who'd convinced me to post it, commented, "This is the worst shit I've ever heard." He got 30 likes, along with a barrage of agreeing, equally terrible comments. FML
by tonedef / 07/09/2013 at 7:35pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally worked up the courage to ask my crush to a movie. What I didn't realise is that she would bring a "friend" along, and that I would have to sit next to them making out for 2 hours. FML
by thirdwheel / 07/09/2013 at 7:05am / Australia (Queensland) / Love
Today, working my job, I had to explain to a kid that Pokemon is owned by Nintendo and they don't make it for the Xbox. Upset by this, he took hold of my leg and started biting. I'm also suspended, because his mother complained when I kicked him off me. FML
by Garchomp / 07/08/2013 at 10:08pm / United States (Kansas) / Work
Today, I got mauled by some wild animals and had to get my butt cheek stitched up. The embarrassment doesn't end there though; the animals in question were kittens. The nurses on duty laughed and the entire ward found out. FML
by richardmrcs / 07/08/2013 at 4:00pm / United Kingdom (Bradford) / Animals
by Erica / 07/08/2013 at 1:27pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, while at the doctor's, a week overdue with my first child, I was told that sex and orgasms can sometimes help to induce labor. On the way home, my boyfriend asked for road head, arguing that "She said that stuff about orgasms." Not you, honey. FML
by realitybites / 07/08/2013 at 1:03pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by malicious_melons / 07/07/2013 at 7:41pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I went to a big job interview. Eventually, the guy subtly enquired about my political beliefs. He seemed pretty laid-back and cool, so I told him, at which point he just chuckled and told me to leave. When I threatened to report him, he just said, "Who're they gonna believe, you or me?" FML
by touche :/ / 07/07/2013 at 5:27pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by roseland / 07/07/2013 at 4:07pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
- Today, I found out my hours at work were getting cut and given to another employee. Not only are my… Today, my best friend of 12 years told me she couldn't attend my wedding. What was so important to… Today, I met the man of my dreams. Hot, funny, smart, sensitive, he guesses at what I need before I…