Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Kashaqueetrah

Search for a member

Kashaqueetrah
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 10 January 1998 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 534
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Kashaqueetrah : ♡OTM♡ I'm not good at these bio things....

Kashaqueetrah's last visitors

seninaaDanielle7994iloovveyyoouubeach_bum13Wolverine33ajax_unitedmikailanicole98saocrateseuphoriagorillazandyhitts25Nolimit2217awkwardlysmiles

Kashaqueetrah's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of Kashaqueetrah's badges

Kashaqueetrah's favorite FMLs

Today, my 13 year old sister had to explain the bases to me. Turns out, I have skipped first and second base and gone straight to third, without even realizing it. What makes it worse is that she told my mother, and now my whole family thinks I'm a slut. FML

#502307
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14912) - you deserved it (57083)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by musik_ist_liebe (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched "What are you doing with my panties!" FML

#483227
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12376) - you deserved it (88064)

On 03/20/2009 at 1:37am - intimacy - by HughGorgy (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I stayed over at my grandparents' house. I woke up and had to brush my teeth. My grandma asked if I had found a toothbrush to use. I told her that I used my old purple toothbrush. She told me that was the toothbrush she used to brush her toenails. FML

#452198
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65117) - you deserved it (9183)

On 03/18/2009 at 9:41pm - health - by uofpalum (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was in my backyard scolding my cat. I yelled, "If you can't learn to use the bathroom correctly then I am going to leave your stupid butt out here in the snow until you figure it out!!" Later, my neighbor left me a nasty note about child abuse - she thought I was scolding my son. FML

#255521
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42871) - you deserved it (9850)

On 03/09/2009 at 9:16pm - kids - by flaggurl (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML

#242557
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49396) - you deserved it (9582)

On 03/08/2009 at 3:08pm - kids - by nutsucker (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was pushing my 4 year old on the swing. I did what we call our "under doggie push": I throw her up in the air while I run underneath her before she hits me coming back down. I walked away to get my water and she yelled across the park "Can we do it doggie-style again?" FML

#234103
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52483) - you deserved it (16910)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:28pm - kids - by Dang-ItsDanielle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking along the street and passed a young couple. Over my shoulder I heard the girl say to her boyfriend "Would you still love me if I looked like her?" FML

#232729
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (154883) - you deserved it (9287)

On 03/07/2009 at 5:13am - misc - by Pissed Off (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

#206263
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22137) - you deserved it (36037)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my very religious grandmother walked in on me masturbating. She's sending me to bible camp. FML

#197450
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69061) - you deserved it (23411)

On 03/03/2009 at 5:14pm - intimacy - by camp (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I overheard my daughter compliment my mother by saying "My mom is way flabbier than you, Grandma." When I told her later that she hurt my feelings, she told me to "man up." She's seven. FML

#179475
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47205) - you deserved it (8387)

On 03/02/2009 at 12:52am - kids - by alejita (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML

#107795
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23014) - you deserved it (62300)

On 02/22/2009 at 8:38pm - intimacy - by madfather (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while at work I was reading "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" to me class of 5 year olds. I got near the end of the book and said "Look at the big fat caterpillar" to which one of my pupils replied "Just like you, Miss!" FML

#55893
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31977) - you deserved it (4327)

On 02/16/2009 at 8:11pm - kids - by Lesley (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I went to a fastfood restaurant to pick up food for my work party. I ordered 250 chicken fingers, 15 orders of fries, and 2 gallons of tea, and the guy behind the counter asked, "Is this for here or to go?" FML

Today, I was babysitting a 5 year old boy. When I was on the phone with my mom, he called 911 and started to cry. When I got off the phone the police were at the door. It turns out that the "emergency" was that the VCR was not working. FML

#45051
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22917) - you deserved it (7384)

On 02/15/2009 at 12:57am - misc - by loueb17 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I decided to come out to a co-worker. She looked at me, then laughed, and said, "You can't be gay, you're fat!" FML

#18036
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37179) - you deserved it (4072)

On 02/09/2009 at 5:00pm - misc - by BearMan (man) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: