About Kashaqueetrah : ♡OTM♡ I'm not good at these bio things....
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Kashaqueetrah's favorite FMLs
Today, I was at the beach with my parents. They were walking hand in hand, when they spotted a crab. My Dad turned to my Mum and said "Oh, must've crawled out of my pubes!" they both laughed and kissed. I don't think they realized I was within hearing distance. FML
by Anonymous / 10/02/2010 at 9:12am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
by Bailey / 08/22/2010 at 2:58am / United States (Nebraska) / Kids
Today, I had an elderly woman come up to me and tell me how well I pull off the look of being bald. She said that most women can't look attractive without hair. Then she asked me if I had cancer. I had to explain to her that I am, in fact, a man, and I shave my head because I'm a swimmer. FML
by Jayswizzle / 08/11/2010 at 4:10am / United States (Colorado) / Health
Today, my family and I watched Madagascar 2. When we got to the part where Gloria the hippopotamus is praised for her chunkyness, my little sister looked at me and said, "If you were a hippo, maybe then you would get a date." FML
by fatty / 08/03/2010 at 6:37pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by MegahnDN / 06/11/2010 at 10:33am / United States / Health
by Allie / 06/03/2010 at 2:58pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by aaalias34 / 02/26/2010 at 6:13am / United States (California) / Animals
by Krit / 02/10/2010 at 10:10am / United States / Miscellaneous
by anon / 02/06/2010 at 7:28pm / United Kingdom (York) / Intimacy
Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML
by Oops / 01/14/2010 at 10:55am / United States (Georgia) / Work
by krisx3ftw / 01/11/2010 at 8:25am / United States (Virginia) / Love
by GeorgiaBOYY / 01/04/2010 at 12:40pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation
by xxxzzzooo / 01/02/2010 at 12:22pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I found out that me and my best friend are both pregnant. We live together, and both had one night stands with the same guy. Now we are going to be each raising his children in the same house while he has decided to "not get involved" and move to a different state. FML
by anonymous / 12/03/2009 at 1:55am / United States (Georgia) / Kids
Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML
by annonymous / 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…
- Today, I realized I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world. Too bad he has never once made me… Today, I found out how mature the guy I'm seeing is. After sex, he took the condom off and hit me… Today, I asked my boyfriend if he would still love me if I became a vegetable. His response: "Well,…
- Today, after months of hard training to reach my athletic goals and to help with body image issues,… Today, on my first day as a home health care provider, I walked into my first clients house to find… Today I got a message from a girl I've been dating; I've dated a few women the last couple of years…