About Kashaqueetrah : ♡OTM♡ I'm not good at these bio things....
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Kashaqueetrah's favorite FMLs
Today, I realized just how messed up my life is, thanks to all the scare stories my wife sees on Dr Phil. She's now convinced that I'll start beating her someday. She's started taking martial arts classes, and threatens to use her skills every time I get even slightly frustrated with her. FML
by yarhyun1 / 08/19/2012 at 12:00pm / United States / Love
Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML
by Anonymous / 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/12/2012 at 7:58am / United States (Maine) / Intimacy
by BrianTheLion89 / 06/06/2012 at 5:37pm / United States / Intimacy
by silencio / 05/24/2012 at 6:44am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
Today, after dieting, rigorous exercising and a major lifestyle change, I have finally reached my fitness goal. My parents were more excited about my 17-year-old brother getting to 3rd base with his girlfriend. FML
by Anonymous / 05/23/2012 at 10:47pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, I was told the Mandarin greeting that my new Chinese friends at school taught me was not really a greeting at all. I've been proclaiming "I'm a dumb bitch" every time I've greeted them, almost every day for the past month. FML
by FML / 05/15/2012 at 3:02pm / Finland / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
by lafinesse / 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm / Miscellaneous
by NoPrivacy / 04/26/2012 at 6:44am / United States / Work
Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML
by Anonymous / 04/22/2012 at 1:12pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by GetHardOrGoHome / 03/31/2012 at 12:22am / United States (Ohio) / Health
by jj159 / 02/25/2012 at 1:40pm / United States / Kids
by ZeroApostle4Ever / 02/23/2012 at 3:00am / United States / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 01/13/2012 at 12:05am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I played Taboo with my boyfriend and my conservative family. It was my boyfriend's turn and his word was "cherry". His only clue to me was, "I popped your..." He was the only one who found it funny. FML
by Anonymous / 12/04/2011 at 12:44am / United States (California) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…