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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Karta

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Karta
  • Town/Country : Paris, France
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 5 March 1989 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 2576
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Karta's favorite FMLs

Today, I married the man of my dreams. At the after-party, my psycho grandma stood up, called for quiet, and engaged in a long rant about how this was "the beginning of the end" and advising everyone that the secret to a successful marriage is "cheating, plain and simple". FML

#17539435 (217)

I agree, your life sucks (22798) - you deserved it (1827)

On 08/21/2011 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

#17390197 (245)

I agree, your life sucks (12018) - you deserved it (995)

On 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my pet fish died because my drunk father microwaved it. FML

#17362826 (207)

I agree, your life sucks (35114) - you deserved it (2012)

On 08/04/2011 at 1:44am - animals - by SydIsPrettyCool - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out why my cups of tea have been tasting a bit funny. It turns out my kettle is full of ants, so every time I boil water to make tea, the ants get re-boiled along with it. FML

#17329330 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (23533) - you deserved it (10425)

On 08/01/2011 at 4:32am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at the airport. A creepy man smiled at me, so I politely smiled back. I then realized his shirt said "Smile if you take it in the ass." He then winked at me and walked off. FML

#17315983 (290)

I agree, your life sucks (31313) - you deserved it (9450)

On 07/31/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by creepedout - United States

Today, I was driving home at night, and got into an accident. Someone had left a toilet in the middle of the road. I hit it. The toilet's fine, but my car now has a toilet-shaped dent in the front. FML

#15431465 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (24999) - you deserved it (4383)

On 03/22/2011 at 1:10pm - misc - by jballer - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my five year old son decided to move all my stuffed animals I have around the house, into sex positions and massive orgies. What have I been teaching my son lately? FML

#15229654 (180)

I agree, your life sucks (9998) - you deserved it (30664)

On 03/07/2011 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by lolzboss - United States (Virginia)

Today, I downloaded an application for my phone that reads whatever you type out loud. I started making it say things like "You like it when daddy spanks your tight little ass don't you?" Just as the message was playing back out loud, my mom walked up the stairs. FML

#15012156 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (6342) - you deserved it (32578)

On 02/17/2011 at 2:02am - intimacy - by biglady (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my girlfriend told me she was bored. During sex. FML

#15001390 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (24813) - you deserved it (15719)

On 02/16/2011 at 10:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my mother walked in on me rubbing $400 in $20 bills all over myself. FML

#14985467 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (6864) - you deserved it (41767)

On 02/15/2011 at 1:44am - intimacy - by howler (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, someone at work put their used, bloodied tampon applicator back in its wrapper, and into the free tampon bin for some sucker to grab. That sucker was me. FML

#14975268 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (34794) - you deserved it (2897)

On 02/14/2011 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by bleu_noir (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML

#14974014 (83)

I agree, your life sucks (22594) - you deserved it (8216)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:51pm - kids - by Mikabe (woman) - Sweden (Varmlands Lan)

Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML

#14968643 (244)

I agree, your life sucks (37313) - you deserved it (7185)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, on the bus, water kept dripping on my head so I stood up to move. As I got up, the bus turned round a corner and I fell over into a man's lap. When I tried to get up, I slipped down between his legs. FML

#14963197 (56)

I agree, your life sucks (18722) - you deserved it (2163)

On 02/13/2011 at 8:18pm - misc - by alice (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML

#14961230 (210)

I agree, your life sucks (32628) - you deserved it (6578)

On 02/13/2011 at 5:32pm - intimacy - by Katrina (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)