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About Karamelo : Just fighting off insomnia... =\
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Perfectionist
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Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for a while. I shaved my legs and armpits and wore a short dress. It wasn't until I got to the meeting that I noticed I only shaved one of my legs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22229) - you deserved it (10898)
On 12/23/2011 at 10:22pm - love - by bigmistake - United States (Illinois)
Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10037) - you deserved it (1791) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5434) - you deserved it (48566)
On 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by lebato97 - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43006) - you deserved it (3855) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I was involved in a car accident and hit my head on the dash. I now have huge, very sore knot on my head. My boyfriend now takes every opportunity to poke it and scream "Look! A baby unicorn!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (22539) - you deserved it (2718)
On 11/18/2011 at 10:26am - misc - by southernpride93 - United States (Florida)
Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20790) - you deserved it (1333)
On 11/13/2011 at 3:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I tried to break up with my girlfriend because I feel unappreciated. She fell asleep while I was attempting this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23401) - you deserved it (2875)
On 11/12/2011 at 1:41am - love - by kirrby - United States (Nevada)
Today, at my job in the cosmetics department, I was helping a customer find something to her taste. She said, "I want a lipstick like you. Something that says, 'I'm a bitch'." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9913) - you deserved it (1686) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (10017) - you deserved it (1538) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I took my friend with me for a radiology scan. While I was getting injections, my friend muttered, "On the bright side, if you die, you'll glow in the dark at the funeral." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6853) - you deserved it (970)
On 10/10/2011 at 3:06pm - health - by radioactiveglowinthedarkthing (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I decided to make home made french fries. I figured all I needed was potatoes and salt, right? Wrong! I also needed the fire department and an ambulance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5157) - you deserved it (6943)
Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29800) - you deserved it (7266)
Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18767) - you deserved it (4224)
On 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my nephew spent a long while enthusiastically telling me how amazing his new 3D TV system is. I felt his pain as his face turned white when he remembered that I'm blind in one eye since birth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19041) - you deserved it (1383)
On 09/27/2011 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14560) - you deserved it (29841)
On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)
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