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Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25427) - you deserved it (3288)
On 01/08/2013 at 12:10pm - misc - by troll of a gran - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I was racing my friends to the car for shotgun in the parking lot at night. I opened the passenger door of the car to find an old lady staring at me. It was the wrong car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47) - you deserved it (22115)
On 12/28/2012 at 3:14am - misc - by Anon - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyone who walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22617) - you deserved it (5541)
On 12/27/2012 at 5:16am - animals - by DarkDisaster (woman) - United States
Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11362) - you deserved it (24376)
On 12/24/2012 at 1:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I spent nearly half an hour trying to dispel my sister's belief that men have to strap down their penises before going jogging. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18917) - you deserved it (2169)
On 12/16/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Waterford)
Today, my brother paid the DJ $300 to ruin my wedding by playing the Imperial Death March as I walked down the aisle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30544) - you deserved it (4018)
On 12/15/2012 at 3:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, as my girlfriend and I were finishing up a romantic dinner, she gazed into my eyes for a moment and said, "You know, sometimes you look like a character from Sesame Street." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11328) - you deserved it (1086)
On 11/07/2012 at 6:48pm - misc - by derve - United States
Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27055) - you deserved it (1361)
On 08/30/2012 at 8:58am - misc - by Sarah - United States (New York)
Today, my social anxiety hit a new low. I was playing bingo and, although I won, I didn't shout "bingo" because I thought too many people would look at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19823) - you deserved it (6922)
On 08/11/2012 at 10:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, my social anxiety hit a new low. I was playing bingo and, although I won, I didn't shout "bingo" because I thought too many people would look at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19823) - you deserved it (6922)
On 08/11/2012 at 10:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my sister, but they already knew each other from my sister's work. She's an exotic dancer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17383) - you deserved it (1490)
On 07/21/2012 at 2:18am - misc - by Closingwild - Mexico (Jalisco)
Today, and for the last week, I've resorted to driving myself to the nearest corner store to take my daily dump. I'm doing this because I recently moved in with my boyfriend, and I'm afraid he'll be disgusted at how often I clog the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9436) - you deserved it (21378)
On 06/21/2012 at 6:02am - health - by TheDumper (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, on my wedding day, when they said "you may kiss the bride", I swung my wife over in the romantic fashion and went in for the kiss. Unfortunately my hands were sweaty as I was nervous and she slipped under my grip. She fell and was knocked unconscious in front of hundreds of people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40882) - you deserved it (15387)
On 08/15/2009 at 3:50am - love - by slipperyhands (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. While I was at the store, an employee came up to me and said, "You're beautiful!" When I came home I told my husband what had just happened. My husband then asked, "What was wrong with him?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (42543) - you deserved it (3752)
On 06/18/2009 at 3:40pm - love - by Ann (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Monday 20 May 2013
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