About Kandyland : My life is completely f*ed.
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Today, I was sitting down in a store when a stroller stopped by me. While the parents were fixing the strap, the baby looked at me, gasped, looked at me again, gasped, and then screamed. Ten minutes later, another baby looked at me and screamed. My face scares babies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23281) - you deserved it (2707)
On 02/20/2010 at 7:03pm - kids - by Scaryman (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14113) - you deserved it (3961)
On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my 4-year-old niece told me she likes it when I'm around because I'm "squishy and smell like fried chicken all the time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6910) - you deserved it (14756)
On 02/10/2010 at 7:07pm - misc - by squishy - United States (Georgia)
Today, my 4-year-old niece told me she likes it when I'm around because I'm "squishy and smell like fried chicken all the time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6910) - you deserved it (14756)
On 02/10/2010 at 7:07pm - misc - by squishy - United States (Georgia)
Today, my mother machine-washed a suit I rented for a friends wedding, despite me informing her that it was dry-clean only, and that the store would take care of it. I now owe $1600 to replace the suit, and my mum is refusing to help pay, as she was "only trying to help." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26498) - you deserved it (1990)
On 01/23/2010 at 1:40am - love - by Phoenix - Sent from mobile version
Today, a man I don't know came up to me and started screaming about how "all you damn Mexicans were stealing American's jobs" and he stormed off. I'm Native American, and I'm pretty sure we've been here longer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43226) - you deserved it (3473)
On 01/21/2010 at 7:45pm - misc - by hardtotell (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I was drinking from a water fountain. I bent over to sip the water and felt a HUGE slap on my ass. Completely confused, I turn around to see some guy with a horrified look on his face. Apparently he thought I was his girlfriend. And then I saw his girlfriend standing behind him. Giving me the evil eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24016) - you deserved it (1765)
On 01/21/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70765) - you deserved it (3941)
On 12/28/2009 at 7:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was watching 'Caillou'. It was a Christmas special for pre-schoolers. I was quite enjoying myself, when it hit me that my kid had been in bed for an hour. I forget what adult TV is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15758) - you deserved it (4516)
On 12/27/2009 at 8:36pm - kids - by Jen (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I looked at my house in Google Street View for the first time and noticed an unfamiliar vehicle in the driveway. When I asked my wife about it, she admitted to have an ongoing affair. Apparently the entire world knew my wife was having an affair before I did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30792) - you deserved it (1880)
On 12/18/2009 at 9:31am - love - by cheaters_should_die (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I asked my boss a simple question about a problem I was having with a project I am currently doing. He replied: ''You don't worry your sweet little ass about it babe". My boss is my girlfriend's father. Nice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21649) - you deserved it (2072)
On 11/18/2009 at 11:45am - work - by GiWi (man) - Ireland (Cork)
Today, a neighbour called to say my water tank burst. A colleague followed me home to help, took off his shirt so it wouldn't get wet and climbed through my window to get to the roof. My boyfriend unexpectedly came home as we were emerging from the bedroom. My colleague was still buttoning his shirt up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36261) - you deserved it (4213)
On 11/15/2009 at 3:42am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I went to the pharmacy to purchase a brace for my sprained wrist. My wife and I had recently ran out of KY lotion, so I decided to pick up a bottle while I was there. It didn't occur to me that these two items could be perceived as being related until the cashier began to giggle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20009) - you deserved it (5294)
On 11/13/2009 at 7:57am - misc - by joeheathen (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was trying to write an essay for school while sleep deprived. After getting 7 pages into it, I crashed face-first onto the keyboard and slept for 20 minutes. When I woke up, my essay was nothing more than a blank document. My face had been pressing the Backspace button the entire time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15332) - you deserved it (23573)
On 11/10/2009 at 10:38pm - misc - by IHateYouBackspace (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was falling asleep on my desk, my head on my fist. My elbow slipped off the edge of the desk and I punched myself, leaving a fist mark on my cheek. At school, people think my parents hit me. My parents think I'm getting bullied at school. No one believes the actual story. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23141) - you deserved it (3639)
On 11/08/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by bob (man) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)
Monday 17 June 2013
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