About Kandyland : My life is completely f*ed.
Kandyland's FML badges
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Kandyland's favorite FMLs
by dumbteacher / 11/22/2010 at 9:47am / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend asked me to meet his parents over Christmas. I was ecstatic. But there was one condition: I must go dressed as a girl since he hasn't worked up the nerve to come out to his parents yet. We've been dating for over a year. FML
by neverdateaclosetcase / 11/17/2010 at 1:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/29/2010 at 4:31am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, while taking a shower, I thought that the bathroom was extra steamy because of all the hot water. It wasn't until two-three minutes later when I put some shampoo in my hair that I realized I had forgotten to take my glasses off. FML
by Anonymous / 10/05/2010 at 6:46am / Sweden (Varmlands Lan) / Health
by caughtorangehanded / 10/01/2010 at 6:12pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I found out that the $200 a week I was paying my dad for my car insurance and payment, wasn't actually paying my insurance and car payment. How did I find out he wasn't paying? Repo man took my car. FML
by thankspops / 09/29/2010 at 7:04pm / United States (New York) / Money
Today, I put an anonymous note under my neighbour's door asking them to not have sex so loudly during the day. Since then, I haven't heard any sex. Unfortunately, I have heard a woman crying loudly because she just found out about her husband's affair. FML
by Anonymous / 09/22/2010 at 3:04pm / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Intimacy
Today, I took my dogs to an empty park. While they were running around, I laid down in the grass to read a book. Someone thought I was a dead body and called the cops. The police and paramedics showed up. This is the second time it's happened. FML
by tracie / 09/21/2010 at 8:00pm / United States (Kansas) / Animals
Today, while at a local river, I had been pulled underwater by a very fast and strong current. While fighting for my life, I had let go of my sandals so I could pull myself up. After explaining to my mom what had happened to me, her response was "YOU LOST YOUR SANDALS!?" FML
by lifesuck / 09/19/2010 at 10:11am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, it was my boyfriend's parents' anniversary so I thought I'd do something to impress them. I made them chocolate-covered strawberries. But for some reason they gave me really dirty looks when they saw it. Turns out his mother is allergic to strawberries and his father is allergic to chocolate. FML
by wakinginvegas87 / 09/05/2010 at 11:49am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by pencilring / 09/04/2010 at 10:08am / United States / Love
by anonymous / 09/04/2010 at 1:15am / United States (California) / Love
by anyone / 09/02/2010 at 12:48am / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Miscellaneous
Today, after my husband's phone buzzed like crazy all morning, I decided to pick it up and see what all the fuss was about. He had three new picture messages from his "boss", naked and strapped to a chair with the caption, "Are you still coming over tonight?" We've been married for nine years and have two children. FML
by ashlee / 08/31/2010 at 2:07pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML
by FYouBoyfriend / 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy