About Kandyland : My life is completely f*ed.
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Kandyland's favorite FMLs
Today, it was my birthday. My parents got me a box of cupcakes. My brother got me a deck of cards. My aunt got me a brochure on how to quit smoking. I have diabetes, I don't play cards, and I don't smoke. FML
by Anonymous / 12/01/2010 at 6:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I felt like adding my real middle name to my facebook name to make it look more professional. It was denied because they didn't feel it was a legitimate request. Minutes later, someone with the name of "Galactic Toast" friend requested me. FML
by Anonymous / 12/01/2010 at 2:35pm / United States / Geek
by dumbteacher / 11/22/2010 at 9:47am / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend asked me to meet his parents over Christmas. I was ecstatic. But there was one condition: I must go dressed as a girl since he hasn't worked up the nerve to come out to his parents yet. We've been dating for over a year. FML
by neverdateaclosetcase / 11/17/2010 at 1:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/29/2010 at 4:31am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, while taking a shower, I thought that the bathroom was extra steamy because of all the hot water. It wasn't until two-three minutes later when I put some shampoo in my hair that I realized I had forgotten to take my glasses off. FML
by Anonymous / 10/05/2010 at 6:46am / Sweden (Varmlands Lan) / Health
by caughtorangehanded / 10/01/2010 at 6:12pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I found out that the $200 a week I was paying my dad for my car insurance and payment, wasn't actually paying my insurance and car payment. How did I find out he wasn't paying? Repo man took my car. FML
by thankspops / 09/29/2010 at 7:04pm / United States (New York) / Money
Today, I put an anonymous note under my neighbour's door asking them to not have sex so loudly during the day. Since then, I haven't heard any sex. Unfortunately, I have heard a woman crying loudly because she just found out about her husband's affair. FML
by Anonymous / 09/22/2010 at 3:04pm / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Intimacy
Today, I took my dogs to an empty park. While they were running around, I laid down in the grass to read a book. Someone thought I was a dead body and called the cops. The police and paramedics showed up. This is the second time it's happened. FML
by tracie / 09/21/2010 at 8:00pm / United States (Kansas) / Animals
Today, while at a local river, I had been pulled underwater by a very fast and strong current. While fighting for my life, I had let go of my sandals so I could pull myself up. After explaining to my mom what had happened to me, her response was "YOU LOST YOUR SANDALS!?" FML
by lifesuck / 09/19/2010 at 10:11am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, it was my boyfriend's parents' anniversary so I thought I'd do something to impress them. I made them chocolate-covered strawberries. But for some reason they gave me really dirty looks when they saw it. Turns out his mother is allergic to strawberries and his father is allergic to chocolate. FML
by wakinginvegas87 / 09/05/2010 at 11:49am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by pencilring / 09/04/2010 at 10:08am / United States / Love
by anonymous / 09/04/2010 at 1:15am / United States (California) / Love
by anyone / 09/02/2010 at 12:48am / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I'm looking after three little girls, aged 3, 5 and 7 years old. We're watching Bambi, and… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,…