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Kandyland

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Kandyland
  • Town/Country : Moscow Mills, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 18 March 1984 (30 years)
  • Number of visits : 3061
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Kandyland : My life is completely f*ed.

Kandyland's last visitors

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Kandyland's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of Kandyland's badges

Kandyland's favorite FMLs

Today, my cab driver told me about the time he tried to commit suicide by driving off a bridge... while we were crossing a river. FML

#15470057
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37952) - you deserved it (3126)

On 03/24/2011 at 6:51pm - misc - by phantomdriver - Canada (Alberta)

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

#15405912
491 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33479) - you deserved it (47493)

On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)

Today, I called the car repair shop to complain to the manager about their tow driver who keeps making sexual passes at me. The girl taking my call started crying and said that their driver was her husband. I'm being sexually harassed, my car is dead, and I think I just ended a marriage. FML

#15399949
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42636) - you deserved it (3597)

On 03/20/2011 at 1:42pm - misc - by WhyMe (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML

#15355329
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38788) - you deserved it (8142)

On 03/17/2011 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by Mr. Sensitive Nips - United States (Texas)

Today, I showed my colleagues how I could switch on my webcam at home from the office. That's how we all found out my wife is cheating on me. FML

#15309756
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99600) - you deserved it (5897) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2011 at 5:26pm - love - by Albert06 - France

Today, a cop rear-ended me. Then I received a ticket from him for driving too far under the speed limit. We were in a school zone. FML

#15291408
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43984) - you deserved it (3495)

On 03/13/2011 at 8:48am - misc - by randinosaur - United States (Delaware)

Today, I bought my fiancée a dress for her birthday. She accused me of saying she was fat, because I bought it in medium rather than small. After trying on the dress, she's now not only mad at me for buying it, but also because the dress fits perfectly. FML

#15252423
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37691) - you deserved it (3767)

On 03/09/2011 at 5:27pm - love - by drebel (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned why my credit score is so low. My mom stole my identity almost three years ago. Her excuse? "You didn't need good credit for anything anyways". FML

#15239468
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36316) - you deserved it (2735)

On 03/08/2011 at 10:21am - money - by MommyLovesMe (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, we had to discuss our heritage at school. When I told the class that I am German, Japanese, and of the Jewish faith, the teacher loudly laughs at the "irony." Something like this happens whenever I tell people my background. FML

#15213017
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27726) - you deserved it (3888)

On 03/06/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML

#15209845
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32463) - you deserved it (3008)

On 03/05/2011 at 8:42pm - health - by nick (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was performing a show about pirates for a youth program. A child started crying because I wasn't a real pirate. A little girl took my defense: "He's a real pirate, his teeth are all yellow!" FML

#15203420
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23160) - you deserved it (9383)

On 03/05/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was riding my motorcycle on the highway and wearing all of my gear - boots, gloves, jacket, and full-face helmet. Somehow a bee found the only spot not covered on my body and stung my neck. I'm allergic to bees. FML

#15194289
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30229) - you deserved it (2421)

On 03/04/2011 at 4:22am - health - by Brandon Butler -

Today, I had to take an emergency contraceptive. I was talking to my boyfriend about it, and I told him that my stomach really hurt. His response? "Aw. That's just the baby dying." FML

#15109555
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43536) - you deserved it (18470)

On 02/25/2011 at 12:12am - intimacy - by greenchan (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, at my strictly Catholic grandmother's funeral, I was made to sit in the row behind the rest of the family, because I was born out of wedlock and wasn't a 'real' member. FML

#15055415
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37016) - you deserved it (2389)

On 02/20/2011 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend said "It's funny how every time we have sex I'm wearing these panties." We've been having sex every day for the last six days. FML

#15002281
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40579) - you deserved it (5118)

On 02/16/2011 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Lovenem (man) - United States (Indiana)



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