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Kandyland

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Kandyland
  • Town/Country : Moscow Mills, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 18 March 1984 (30 years)
  • Number of visits : 3071
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Kandyland : My life is completely f*ed.

Kandyland's last visitors

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Kandyland's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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Kandyland's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML

#4053619
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20160) - you deserved it (51277)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was walking through a heavy door at work, so I reached behind me to catch it so it wouldn't slam shut. Little did I know that my boss was walking through right after me. Instead of catching the door, I caught a handful of his crotch. FML

#3982111
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44244) - you deserved it (4753)

On 07/23/2009 at 4:23pm - work - by bossgroper (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I came home from living in Spain for 2 years. My mom made dinner for me, and she had forgotten about my allergy to citrus, because she made lemon chicken. After using my EpiPen, and calling 911 for myself, I heard my mom say to my dad, "She always did have to be the center of attention." FML

#3927246
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57141) - you deserved it (3172)

On 07/21/2009 at 11:19am - health - by Lemonhead (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had an important powerpoint presentation for ALL the big execs at work. It seems that during my lunch break, my boyfriend IMed me on my mac saying "Feeling so horny right now, come home for a quicky like last week?" I didn't see it until the presentation. So did the executives. FML

#3899297
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33082) - you deserved it (9041)

On 07/20/2009 at 3:07am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my laptop plug got stuck in the wall outlet. I stood there for 10 minutes violently trying to yank it out. My boss came in and screamed at me for making noise. I was angry, so I glared at him and yanked on the plug as hard as I could. It dislodged itself noiselessly and I fell over. FML

#3601135
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9189) - you deserved it (35336)

On 07/09/2009 at 1:33am - work - by aireun (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my mom turned to me and said, "You know, you're the kind of person that has to change literally everything about themselves to get a guy to like you." I thought she was joking so I laughed. She then said "Like that. Your laugh... What is that? Change that." FML

#3587785
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63842) - you deserved it (4737)

On 07/08/2009 at 5:43pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in my new boyfriend's apartment for the first time. As I was flipping through his photo albums, I came across one full of disturbingly candid pictures of me. I found some as early as my trip to the state fair, three years ago. I met my boyfriend two months ago. FML

#3398201
395 comments

I agree, your life sucks (131267) - you deserved it (6162)

On 07/01/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had a bath in the bathroom we are currently renovating. There's a big hole in the middle of the floor. When I got out of the bath, I swung one leg across the gap to get a towel from the rack. I drew back my leg and looked down to see my brother's hot friend staring up at me in horror. FML

#3025655
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41949) - you deserved it (17811)

On 06/19/2009 at 9:51am - misc - by ilikeirishducks (woman) - Italy

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

#2831839
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (130410) - you deserved it (8968)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was looking at the skeleton of a human male that we have in out biology classroom. I picked up the hand to examine the bones in the finger, and had the sudden realization that this is the only time that I have held hands with a boy. I'm a junior in college. FML

#2375758
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50661) - you deserved it (7646)

On 05/28/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to a theme party where everyone wore white shirts and brought markers to draw on them. I didn't know many people there but I still went around drawing on people's shirts. After a few hours, someone finally drew on my shirt. They wrote "I'm scary." FML

#2270711
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32907) - you deserved it (8086)

On 05/25/2009 at 10:24am - misc - by MandyPanda (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML

#2005903
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27212) - you deserved it (82800)

On 05/17/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by Ohshit (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I gave a big presentation at work. The manager decided to video tape it. I went through my presentation with ease and was confident I did a good job. My confidence was then lowered after watching the tape. Apparently, my boobs are much more interesting than what I had to say. FML

#1869352
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46090) - you deserved it (5150)

On 05/12/2009 at 9:41am - misc - by Viridian - United States

Today, a friend and I went to Gamestop to pick up a game he wanted. I ended up buying a 17+ game, and I was prepared to show my license, but he stopped me an said, "I know you're 18". He then said, "Man, I've pretty much watched you grow up in this store." A game salesman watched me grow up. FML



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