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Offline (the 07/03/2016 at 5:54am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 18 March 1984 (32 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7172
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Kandyland : My life is completely f*ed.

Kandyland's page activity

Visits<b>Arnvs</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 12:30am<b>Leenah_93</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 11:04pm<b>MethuselahTurtle</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 8:00am<b>Robby2448</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 11:04pm<b>dandee_one</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 8:50am<b>Sh4dey</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 6:20pm<b>poncho55</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 1:06pm<b>Budderchook</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 8:58pm<b>Tempted1</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 10:02am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 5:56pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 09/12/2011 at 3:24am<b>pinklover24</b> - the 02/09/2011 at 6:46pm<b>FFML_314</b> - the 01/27/2011 at 12:29am<b></b> - the 01/24/2011 at 4:28pm<b>sweet_candy_</b> - the 12/30/2010 at 3:22am

Kandyland's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.


You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Kandyland's badges

Kandyland's favorite FMLs

Today, a Milkbone commercial came on TV. At the end of it, they whistle and throw a Milkbone across the screen, prompting my 100lb German Shepherd to leap off the couch and run head on into my new plasma screen TV. FML

by doglover / 11/03/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting in the cafeteria with my friends when I suddenly passed out due to my hypoglycemia. When I woke up, I discovered that I was still in the same spot and my friends had abandoned me to go to class. Also, my stuff was stolen. FML

by hey-ooo / 10/27/2009 at 9:15pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was texting my boyfriend, making plans to see him tomorrow. He ended the conversation by saying "I'm changing my sheets tomorrow, so take a shower." FML

by Shower? / 10/19/2009 at 3:26am / Intimacy

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

by APetsPet / 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2009 at 12:27am / United States (Oklahoma) / Love

Today, I had to cover for my coworker who didn't turn up for work. He is always late for work and I was pissed off about having to cover for him again so I said to my colleagues "He better be either in hospital or dead." Turns out he was dead. FML

by mcdeez / 09/21/2009 at 10:06pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Work

Today, I learned that "Je suis excité" does not mean "I'm excited" in French. It means "I'm sexually excited"... more or less. I've been doing a lot of exciting things and using it a lot the past two weeks. With my French friends, people I meet, and especially with my host family. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2009 at 10:26am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Intimacy

Today, I was in a department store with my three year old daughter to buy some new jeans. I took her into the dressing room with me and as I began to take off my pants she yells, "Mommy, you can't go peepee in here!!" I am no longer welcome in that particular store. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2009 at 1:01am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, was my birthday. I asked for a camera - nothing fancy, just a basic digital camera. My mother bought my brother a fancy digital camera, with all the accessories, for over £200. She then gave me his old, analogue camera, that I can't get film for anymore. He hates taking photos. FML

by unlucky / 09/19/2009 at 3:05pm / United Kingdom (Hounslow) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

by awilson / 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a party when I got covered in the liquid from a glow stick. Thinking it wasn't a big deal I went to rub it off, but it stuck to my clothes. The cops came so everyone ran and hid in the bushes because we were all drunk. The cops arrested fifteen people because I glowed. FML

by Idiots / 09/05/2009 at 4:54pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, while giving a lecture about gases to a large chemistry class, I went outside to let loose an unusualy loud fart while they took some notes. I came back in only to see 300 students dying of laughter. I had left the wireless mic on. FML

by DrGas / 09/04/2009 at 12:30am / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, my boyfriend and I were starting to get in the mood. I get on top of him, lean down to kiss him, and he begins to laugh. Puzzled, I ask him why. He tells me that when I'm naked and on top of him, I remind him of a cow, with 'udders' . Offended, I go to get off. 'No no' he protests, 'a SEXY cow'. FML

by sigh / 08/30/2009 at 7:35pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Intimacy

Today, after six months of dating, my girlfriend decided to break up with me because my "obsession" of being on the computer and playing games all the time was cutting into "our time". She then told me to "get a life" and never wanted to see me again. She told me all of this on WoW. FML

by zuper_duper / 08/29/2009 at 6:20pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, while at an amusement park my husband left me to walk with all of our friends because he said that I moved too slow. I'm pregnant. FML

by lilbit / 08/26/2009 at 1:08pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.