Kandyland

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Offline (the 11/01/2016 at 12:33pm)

Kandyland

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 18 March 1984 (32 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7431
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Kandyland : My life is completely f*ed.

Kandyland's page activity

Visits<b>Arnvs</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 12:30am<b>Leenah_93</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 11:04pm<b>MethuselahTurtle</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 8:00am<b>Robby2448</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 11:04pm<b>dandee_one</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 8:50am<b>Sh4dey</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 6:20pm<b>poncho55</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 1:06pm<b>Budderchook</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 8:58pm<b>Tempted1</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 10:02am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 5:56pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 09/12/2011 at 3:24am<b>pinklover24</b> - the 02/09/2011 at 6:46pm<b>FFML_314</b> - the 01/27/2011 at 12:29am<b></b> - the 01/24/2011 at 4:28pm<b>sweet_candy_</b> - the 12/30/2010 at 3:22am

Kandyland's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Kandyland's badges

Kandyland's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the store with my grandpa. When we were rung up, he started to pay for our myriad groceries in coins, and the guy behind us groaned. My grandpa said, "shut your mouth," and started ranting about how stupid people are to leave paper trails for "government spooks." FML

by for fucks sake gramps / 08/06/2012 at 5:37pm / United States (Hawaii) / Money

Today, I finally realized how depressed I am when I found bubble wrap and didn't feel like popping it. FML

by Epiphany / 07/19/2012 at 5:01am / United States / Health

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

by BloodFaerie / 06/30/2012 at 2:49am / United States (Georgia) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that the phone number I switched to, used to host an amateur phone sex hotline. I found this out after getting several calls by teenagers, who sounded as if they were masturbating even as I yelled that they had the wrong number. FML

by Anonymous / 06/26/2012 at 5:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I overheard my boss and a co-worker talking about me. Apparently when I speak, I slur my words so badly that it sounds like I'm speaking in tongues. According to my boss, "he could be possessed by a demon right now, and we'd never even notice." FML

by bronieswillrule5eva / 06/11/2012 at 2:16pm / Canada (Prince Edward Island) / Work

Today, I saw a text message on my husband's phone from a "Candice", asking him if he and his wife are still separated, followed by an invitation to spend the night. I never knew we were separated in the first place. FML

by Anonymous / 06/04/2012 at 2:21pm / United States (Mississippi) / Love

Today, I was driving home, when some kid on a motorbike shot in front of me from the pavement, almost running me off the road. When I confronted him, he screamed, "Watch where you're going next time!" If I could flush every last one of these human turds from the toilet of life, I would. FML

by cunting cunts / 05/29/2012 at 1:10pm / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Transportation

Today, I went to a new deli in town. While waiting in line, I hadn't made up my mind on what to order, so I let the guy behind me go instead. Turns out he was the hundredth customer, and they gave him his lunch for free. FML

by kirsty / 04/08/2012 at 1:18pm / Canada (Alberta) / Money

Today, I realized my daughter has been in longer relationships than I have. FML

by Amber C / 04/06/2012 at 11:41pm / United States / Love

Today, I visited my gynecologist. As she had her fingers inside me she decided that was the perfect time to say, "I absolutely love your socks!" FML

by GetHardOrGoHome / 03/31/2012 at 12:22am / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, I realized my wife often switches the TV channel from the crime dramas we both like, to Hollywood gossip shows that I can't stand, just to get me to leave the room. From the other room, I can see that she switches back once I've left. She's probably been doing this for years. FML

by unwanted / 12/23/2011 at 9:24pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, a stoplight dropped square into the bed of my pickup truck. The police think I was attempting to steal it, and my insurance won't cover the damage to my truck. There were no witnesses. FML

by metallicatime / 12/15/2011 at 10:16pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for a familiar reason; I apparently have night terrors that make me "Impossible to sleep in the same room with." I don't ever remember these dreams. Every other girlfriend I've had has ended up breaking things off with me for the same reason. FML

by Anonymous / 12/09/2011 at 9:55pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to court to file a small claim and found myself at the end of a huge line. The moment I got to the front of the line, the fire alarm went off and we all had to leave the building. The moment I got outside, the alarm stopped and everybody rushed back in. I'm at the back of the line. FML

by Dante178 / 12/08/2011 at 3:41pm / United States (California) / Money

Today, I got kicked in the crotch by a horse in my backyard. I don't own a horse. FML

by Rash / 12/06/2011 at 11:54am / United States (New York) / Animals