Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Kandyland

Offline (the 10/11/2015 at 5:35pm) | Search for a member

Kandyland

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 18 March 1984 (31 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6000
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Kandyland : My life is completely f*ed.

Kandyland's page activity

Visits<b>dandee_one</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 8:50am<b>Sh4dey</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 6:20pm<b>poncho55</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 1:06pm<b>Budderchook</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 8:58pm<b>Tempted1</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 10:02am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 5:56pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 09/12/2011 at 3:24am<b>pinklover24</b> - the 02/09/2011 at 6:46pm<b>FFML_314</b> - the 01/27/2011 at 12:29am<b></b> - the 01/24/2011 at 4:28pm<b>sweet_candy_</b> - the 12/30/2010 at 3:22am

Kandyland's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Kandyland's badges

Kandyland's favorite FMLs

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents over lunch. Unfortunately, I showed my dad her Facebook profile beforehand and he wouldn't stop making cracks about her duckfacing. It started with "Don't let her eat the bread, it'll puff up in her stomach and kill her", and ended in tears. FML

#21478134
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24747) - you deserved it (5079)

On 10/10/2015 at 1:39am - misc - by iskalion (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that what I thought was "acne" is actually an allergic reaction to a cream I've been using for years. I thought the cream was helping me with the breakouts but my doctor says the real acne probably went away naturally years ago. FML

#21477917
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23904) - you deserved it (2345)

On 10/09/2015 at 1:34pm - health - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, the 3 girls who have continuously bullied me for the past 3 years gave a class presentation on why bullying is so terrible. Judging from our teacher's comments, they're going to get top marks. FML

#21477334
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27661) - you deserved it (1609)

On 10/07/2015 at 9:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, the AC broke in the kitchen of the restaurant I work at. Temperatures reached over 100 degrees and one of my coworkers nearly passed out. Our boss accused us of being "dramatic" and only let us step out after I collapsed. I need this job too badly to quit. FML

#21477146
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24404) - you deserved it (1592)

On 10/07/2015 at 12:46pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I got trapped in my building's elevator for over an hour, with my dog who I had been rushing outside with because he had explosive diarrhea. FML

#21391716
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35681) - you deserved it (2842)

On 04/11/2015 at 8:12am - animals - by Crappy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after locking myself out of my house, I let myself into my car to wait on someone with a spare key. It took me 15 minutes to realise the house and car key share the same ring. FML

#21390076
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20479) - you deserved it (16622)

On 04/08/2015 at 3:36pm - misc - by losing the plot (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, at a mind-numbingly boring support session, everyone was talking about their hardships. One guy was talking about losing his leg in a car accident. I was half-asleep and asked without thinking, "Did you ever find it?" I almost shat my pants at the roomful of death glares that followed. FML

#21389976
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17902) - you deserved it (33586)

On 04/08/2015 at 12:08pm - misc - by S to the HIT (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was told it was inconvenient for me to take lunch breaks, because someone else has to answer the phones and no one else wants to actually do any work. FML

#21388704
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27747) - you deserved it (1851)

On 04/06/2015 at 4:02pm - work - by tee - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out that the nickname my friend has been calling me in Japanese for the past year is the word for "Idiot". FML

#21388350
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27452) - you deserved it (4895)

On 04/05/2015 at 11:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out I wasn't invited to the annual family reunion. The reason? Everyone thinks I'm "creepy" because I'm the only adult who will go out and play with the kids. FML

#21387157
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30944) - you deserved it (2384)

On 04/03/2015 at 7:00pm - misc - by big_bail (man) - United States (California)

Today, at the DMV I was told I had to prove, with a doctor's note, that I was an amputee and my disability was permanent to get my placard. Apparently, setting my prosthetic leg on the counter wasn't proof enough, and is considered "threatening". The police were called. FML

#21386342
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40675) - you deserved it (2461)

On 04/02/2015 at 2:43am - health - by usadisvet (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, a coworker and I pulled a April Fools' joke on our boss. She "borrowed" his keys and rolled down his window. I took a car window from a scrap yard and sprinkled it on the ground near his door. His response was to kick the nearest object in anger. The nearest object happened to be my car. FML

#21385709
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25836) - you deserved it (10812)

On 04/01/2015 at 1:46pm - work - by TecheyTim - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by waking him up with a blowjob, because he had always told me that it was a sexy fantasy of his. When he finally woke up, he got pissed off, rudely accused me of interrupting his beauty sleep, then soundly lay back down and fell asleep again. FML

#20169340
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38782) - you deserved it (4775)

On 11/19/2012 at 10:12am - intimacy - by nextcontestant16 - United States

Today, I was at the store with my grandpa. When we were rung up, he started to pay for our myriad groceries in coins, and the guy behind us groaned. My grandpa said, "shut your mouth," and started ranting about how stupid people are to leave paper trails for "government spooks." FML

#20006151
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20770) - you deserved it (2068)

On 08/06/2012 at 5:37pm - money - by for fucks sake gramps (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I finally realized how depressed I am when I found bubble wrap and didn't feel like popping it. FML

#19957944
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35268) - you deserved it (2864)

On 07/19/2012 at 5:01am - health - by Epiphany (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: