FML: Kandyland

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Kandyland

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Town/Country : Moscow Mills, USA
Title : Miss
Birth Date : Sunday 18 March 1984 (28 years)
Number of visits : 1759
Number of comments : 41
Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Kandyland : My life is completely f*ed.

Kandyland's last visitors

Kandyland's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

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Kandyland's favorite FMLs

Today, a stoplight dropped square into the bed of my pickup truck. The police think I was attempting to steal it, and my insurance won't cover the damage to my truck. There were no witnesses. FML

I agree, your life sucks (9662) - you deserved it (616)

On 12/15/2011 at 10:16pm - misc - by metallicatime - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for a familiar reason; I apparently have night terrors that make me "Impossible to sleep in the same room with." I don't ever remember these dreams. Every other girlfriend I've had has ended up breaking things off with me for the same reason. FML

#18471857 (218)

I agree, your life sucks (24885) - you deserved it (2666)

On 12/09/2011 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I went to court to file a small claim and found myself at the end of a huge line. The moment I got to the front of the line, the fire alarm went off and we all had to leave the building. The moment I got outside, the alarm stopped and everybody rushed back in. I'm at the back of the line. FML

#18461010 (120)

I agree, your life sucks (31919) - you deserved it (2251)

On 12/08/2011 at 3:41pm - money - by Dante178 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch by a horse in my backyard. I don't own a horse. FML

#18444351 (176)

I agree, your life sucks (10590) - you deserved it (963)

On 12/06/2011 at 11:54am - animals - by Rash (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I started at my new waitressing job. Our uniforms have the name of the restaurant on the left chest pocket. My first customer asked me what the other boob’s called. FML

#18443540 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (18991) - you deserved it (1883)

On 12/06/2011 at 7:26am - work - by boobywaitress (woman) - Australia

Today, I played Taboo with my boyfriend and my conservative family. It was my boyfriend's turn and his word was "cherry". His only clue to me was, "I popped your..." He was the only one who found it funny. FML

#18424133 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (26647) - you deserved it (3334)

On 12/04/2011 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a man tried to rob the winery I worked at by knife-point. I managed to scare him off by throwing a bottle of wine at him. My boss fired me because I broke a $25 bottle of wine. FML

#18423886 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (11780) - you deserved it (677)

On 12/04/2011 at 12:19am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because her father, who abandoned her before she was born and just reentered her life, doesn't approve. FML

#18354062 (133)

I agree, your life sucks (11782) - you deserved it (593)

On 11/26/2011 at 3:16am - love - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

#18345679 (182)

I agree, your life sucks (8753) - you deserved it (39281)

On 11/25/2011 at 10:02am - intimacy - by Dickhead - Lebanon

Today, I went to the store with my girlfriend. She needed to use the bathroom so I started looking at the books. It wasn't until the manager shot me a weird look that I realized I'd wandered down too far and was looking at bridal magazines, holding tampons, dog treats, and hair spray. FML

#18036451 (133)

I agree, your life sucks (16928) - you deserved it (2896)

On 10/21/2011 at 1:42am - animals - by Dv0829 - United States (Utah)

Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML

#18015213 (417)

I agree, your life sucks (40602) - you deserved it (5772)

On 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Mini-wanker (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

#17953738 (505)

I agree, your life sucks (10449) - you deserved it (6893)

On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML

#17919622 (138)

I agree, your life sucks (29800) - you deserved it (7266)

On 10/06/2011 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I showed my boyfriend a calendar, marked with the number of times we've had sex over the past month. Then followed by a calendar of the month before, which had almost triple the number of hits. I had to point out that our stats need to improve. FML

#17901897 (265)

I agree, your life sucks (16995) - you deserved it (11491)

On 10/04/2011 at 3:04am - intimacy - by friskeyk14 - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML

#17775098 (174)

I agree, your life sucks (15794) - you deserved it (2143)

On 09/18/2011 at 8:23pm - love - by DeadScared (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

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