Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Kandi_Neko

Search for a member

Kandi_Neko

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 607
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Kandi_Neko : Hello world of FML, welcome to my profile.
I like anime, manga, various music, playing clarinet, violin and piano, school, playing Aion, Minecraft, and games on my iPad mini, biking, tennis, canoeing, practicing archery, taking horseback riding lessons, sleeping, drawing/sketching, watching movies or documentaries, and I think the list goes on.
Not going to bother with my dislikes.
I can also be found on Instagram (Kandi_Nekoloid), Kik (Kandi_Nekol01d), Snapchat (kandinekol01d), Chatzy and Chatango (Kandil01d).
Feel free to send me a message, whether it be an inquiry, comment, suggestion, or an invitation to chat. (Or if you're curious about my dislikes.)
Thank you for taking time to read this!
(Going to try and translate all of this to other languages someday...just because I can. And so that non-English speakers/readers can understand what my profile says. I wonder if there will be enough room, or if I'll even still be an active account...)

Kandi_Neko's page activity

Visits<b>skittycat213</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 4:00pm<b>jelly_rolls</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 2:48am<b>Mornai</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 5:35pm<b>FlamingColor</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 7:17pm<b>EvilPandaxD</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 6:14pm<b>mollypop35</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 6:45am<b>Beester13</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 3:27am<b>SuperDani</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 6:45pm<b>thisismejustdeal</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 3:55pm<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 10:08pm<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 7:40pm<b>Samuu212</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 10:31pm<b>bmba94</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 1:31am<b>n_bagg05</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 2:19am<b>ignoremeimweird</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 11:01am<b>LilCheeno</b> - the 10/03/2013 at 11:50pm<b>KatieMajestic</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 11:26pm<b>german_boy97</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 11:57am

Kandi_Neko's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Kandi_Neko's badges

Kandi_Neko's favorite FMLs

Today, I joked with my boss about calling in sick to work tomorrow with food poisoning to avoid taking the Sunday shift. Tonight, I'm sitting on the toilet bowl in agonizing pain with combination diarrhea and vomiting. My shift starts in 3 hours. FML

#20890943
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37611) - you deserved it (9943)

On 09/22/2013 at 12:26am - work - by not_fakingit - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my mom mentioned how she loves certain actor's "British" accent. I couldn't help but mention that there's no such thing, and that there are lots of different accents in Britain. She got pissed and lectured me for "lying" to her and trying to make her feel stupid. FML

#20863518
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30225) - you deserved it (18068)

On 09/01/2013 at 6:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, tired of everyone forgetting my birthday, I traveled half way around the world to spend my 40th at a five star resort just to try and make it special. The hotel brought me a cake with someone else's name on it. FML

#20861368
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46879) - you deserved it (3818)

On 08/31/2013 at 4:16am - misc - by nevercatchabreak - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43038) - you deserved it (7340)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, my crew and I were berated by a client for not installing her new hardwood floor on time. We were only halfway through the day, but apparently it should have only taken "like, an hour?" because "The guys on the TV shows do it that fast." FML

#20861177
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42565) - you deserved it (2461)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:44am - work - by smashyonewfloors - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that my grandma is a well-loved member of a notorious biker gang. Meanwhile, I'm a 32-year-old, single, minimum-wage nobody with no friends to speak of. She's probably getting more action than I ever will. FML

#20860751
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38837) - you deserved it (6296)

On 08/30/2013 at 7:37pm - misc - by no life to fuck :/ (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend posted a screenshot from a porno on my Facebook, because the girl in it looked freakishly similar to me. My dad commented, asking for a link to the video. FML

#20797729
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52340) - you deserved it (4053)

On 07/22/2013 at 3:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain)

Today, I won an award for Employee of the Month. Shocked, I asked my boss if he'd gotten my name mixed up or something. He had. FML

#20797671
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43275) - you deserved it (9682)

On 07/22/2013 at 2:29pm - work - by FUCK (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at Walmart. A guy in a mobility scooter bumped into me, then told me to "get the fuck out of the way." When I told him to watch his mouth, he got up and shoved me into a shelf. Just a few minutes prior, he'd yelled that he was paralyzed from the waist down. FML

#20797503
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47424) - you deserved it (3206)

On 07/22/2013 at 12:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML

#20796032
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60306) - you deserved it (4383)

On 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by notenoughunderwearintheworld (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, while filling out paperwork at the dermatologist, it asked what color I would use to describe my skin tone. When the nurse saw I chose fair, she mumbled "Ghost is more like it." I have a severe sun allergy. FML

#20795568
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46281) - you deserved it (3790)

On 07/21/2013 at 11:03am - misc - by Ghostly (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my fiancé confronted me about our wedding arrangements. Apparently, if he's not allowed to wear a duct-tape tuxedo and have a Jesus impersonator as his best man, the wedding is off. FML

Today, I went to see one of my favorite bands. They were having signings, but only the first one hundred could get one. When I finally got to the desk, they said I was number hundred and one, and to get lost. FML

#20795083
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52498) - you deserved it (4105)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was on a bus and I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, and hit him every time he made a noise. FML

#20795078
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41687) - you deserved it (9019)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by accountnamevalid (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was working the drive-through at McDonald's. I greeted a customer with a, "Hi, how are you doing today?" His response: "Better than you." FML

#20795022
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46965) - you deserved it (7787)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: