Kalofinator

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Kalofinator

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 22405
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Kalofinator's page activity

Visits<b>stuckintime</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 9:13pm<b>OhSnapItsSkyla</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 6:21am<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 1:57am<b>LoveNnyl</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 10:14am<b>bvbgleek</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 3:50pm<b>lagreeni</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 1:10pm<b>Jreslier</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 7:13am<b>FamousPeace</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 4:15pm<b>pjpeej13</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 4:46pm<b>Gr8wise1</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 9:27am<b>huntervaldzkr</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 11:58am<b>SaviiXoXo21</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 1:07pm<b>HitTheRoadJacK3</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 2:23pm<b>chadwj</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 8:30am<b>Alonzo_5841</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 3:38am<b>Valour6</b> - the 03/13/2013 at 12:02pm<b>Slovenian</b> - the 08/30/2011 at 8:52am<b>TigerTattoo</b> - the 08/08/2010 at 5:21pm

Kalofinator's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Kalofinator's favorite FMLs

Today, I was cleaning out my fiancé's room while he was away so we could move into our new home. Not only did I find a few gay nudie mags, but also some interesting love letters from a nice man named Pablo. Apparently I need to do a lot more than cleaning his room to excite him. Like grow a penis. FML

by vickyxanne / 06/12/2009 at 8:10pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

by NoBalls / 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML

by SleepyKirsty / 06/09/2009 at 9:36am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Intimacy

Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her face asks me "When a man is getting it from behind, the man on top orgasms, but what happens to the man on bottom? Do you think he takes care of himself or what?" Hand motions were included. FML

by Anonymous / 06/09/2009 at 4:14am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML

by Ryan746 / 06/09/2009 at 1:45am / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I was at a party. The music changed to a slow dance. Everybody grabbed a partner and I was left on the dancefloor alone. Suddenly, this guy walks up to me. I swore that he was going to ask me to dance. He then says: "Could you hold me my drink?" and goes to dance with another girl. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 9:36pm / United States (Mississippi) / Love

Today, I was sitting in class when the most popular girl in my grade came up to me holding birthday invitation cards. I've never been invited to a birthday party, so I was so excited when she handed me a card only to hear her say, "Mary is on your bus, will you give this to her?" FML

by loner / 06/07/2009 at 8:28am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML

by imfromtexas02 / 06/06/2009 at 10:03am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I was with my 14 year old son when we saw a baby sparrow being attacked by four or five blackbirds. We rushed up, waving our arms and scared away the much bigger attackers. The baby sparrow ran toward us for protection, then went past both of us and ran straight down a storm sewer. FML

by Pierce / 06/05/2009 at 12:56pm / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to watch the Movie "UP." At one point in the movie I got really sad and started to cry a bit. The 7 year old girl next to me noticed and told me to shut and man up. FML

by Anonymous / 06/05/2009 at 9:20am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, while running on the treadmill at the gym, the girl next to me slipped and went flying back against the wall. Indecisive whether to get off and help her or to just keep going, I lost my focus and footing and flew back next to her. FML

by NoPainNoGain / 06/05/2009 at 1:03am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was reading through a local wedding mag's advice page. A mother-in-law to be was writing about how to handle wanting her son to break off his engagement. I thought, "Wow. That must suck. I'm glad I like my mother-in-law to be." And then I saw her name. FML

by Anonymous / 06/04/2009 at 7:11am / United States / Love

Today, I was on a roller coaster and this 13 year old sitting next to me was completely terrified. To cheer him up, I threw my hands in the air. While my hands were up, we hit a curve and I elbowed him in the face, making him cry. FML

by rollerSWEETness / 06/03/2009 at 11:16am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML

by Higgs / 06/02/2009 at 3:10pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and parents went out to dinner. As we started the meal, my boyfriend proposed and the restaurant burst into applause. My mother said without hesitation and a large scowl, "If you say yes, I'm leaving." FML

by ThanksMom / 06/02/2009 at 8:06am / United States (Indiana) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.