Kalofinator

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Kalofinator

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 22473
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Kalofinator's page activity

Visits<b>stuckintime</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 9:13pm<b>OhSnapItsSkyla</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 6:21am<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 1:57am<b>LoveNnyl</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 10:14am<b>bvbgleek</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 3:50pm<b>lagreeni</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 1:10pm<b>Jreslier</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 7:13am<b>FamousPeace</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 4:15pm<b>pjpeej13</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 4:46pm<b>Gr8wise1</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 9:27am<b>huntervaldzkr</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 11:58am<b>SaviiXoXo21</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 1:07pm<b>HitTheRoadJacK3</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 2:23pm<b>chadwj</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 8:30am<b>Alonzo_5841</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 3:38am<b>Valour6</b> - the 03/13/2013 at 12:02pm<b>Slovenian</b> - the 08/30/2011 at 8:52am<b>TigerTattoo</b> - the 08/08/2010 at 5:21pm

Kalofinator's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Kalofinator's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me he was going out tonight to celebrate his ex-but-still-friends-girlfriend's birthday at a local club and hopes I wasn't offended that I wasn't invited. I sure am offended; we have the same birthday. FML

by imscrewed / 07/29/2009 at 3:32pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML

by notsexy / 07/28/2009 at 6:28pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my brother decided it would be funny to squirt disappearing ink on my wedding dress right before I walked down the aisle. It didn't disappear. FML

by randomnamehere / 07/27/2009 at 2:22pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML

by treegirl / 07/26/2009 at 1:57am / United States / Love

Today, I was at the movies. All of a sudden, the woman next to me starts laughing uncontrollably and talking to her friend during the movie. This continued throughout the movie, ruining it. I turned and whispered to my friend. The woman then taps me on the shoulder and yells, "Shut the fuck up!" FML

by fmlatmovies / 07/25/2009 at 11:07am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a man held a door open for me while I fished my umbrella out of my very cluttered bag. As I was opening my umbrella, I turned to thank him for being such a gentleman. Instead, a tampon that had apparently wedged itself into the folds of my umbrella flew into his face. FML

by umbrella / 07/24/2009 at 7:39am / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in an elevator with my dad and several strangers. When the elevator voice said, "Going down," my dad excitedly said, "Man, I love it when she says that!" loudly enough for everyone to hear. FML

by Anonymous / 07/24/2009 at 6:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I bust my lip when a car bumped into mine. As I headed home, I was stopped by the police who told me my back light was out. I tried to explain, but it just came out as "fghjiljh" because of my lip. I was arrested on suspicion of drinking and driving. FML

by Gg / 07/23/2009 at 5:19pm / United Kingdom (Bradford) / Transportation

Today, I was standing by the bed naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opens the door and walks over to me, swinging her hips, wearing pratically nothing. About four feet from me, she trips on the edge of the floor mat, and uses my 'junk' to catch herself. FML

by Gordon / 07/22/2009 at 10:12am / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy

Today, I have to choose between one eyebrow or none because I'm a heavy sleeper and my brother is a moron. FML

by wow / 07/11/2009 at 4:02pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife and I went shopping for new glasses at a local store, but we didn't really get to actually buying one. On our way back, she warned me that my glasses of choice should in no way be 'those big arty ones'. When I asked her why not, she told me that I 'look gay enough already'. FML

by Anonymous / 06/30/2009 at 1:01pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Love

Today, my friend said he'd give me 20 bucks if I would ask out the ugliest girl in school. I did it. She rejected me. FML

by steven / 06/24/2009 at 11:33am / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, my daughter used pledge to clean the wooden staircase. I found out when I tried to walk down them in socks. FML

by FastFlight / 06/23/2009 at 2:12am / United States (New Hampshire) / Kids

Today, my daughter used pledge to clean the wooden staircase. I found out when I tried to walk down them in socks. FML

by FastFlight / 06/23/2009 at 2:12am / United States (New Hampshire) / Kids

Today, I was talking to my only grandson about how I was going to the dentist to get my teeth fixed and how it was going to cost a lot of money, he replied saying "Who cares, you're going to die soon anyways". FML

by oldtimerclark / 06/21/2009 at 5:46pm / United States (Georgia) / Health