Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Kalofinator

Search for a member

Kalofinator

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 21550
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Kalofinator's page activity

Visits<b>Jreslier</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 7:13am<b>FamousPeace</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 4:15pm<b>pjpeej13</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 4:46pm<b>Gr8wise1</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 9:27am<b>huntervaldzkr</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 11:58am<b>SaviiXoXo21</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 1:07pm<b>HitTheRoadJacK3</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 2:23pm<b>chadwj</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 8:30am<b>Alonzo_5841</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 3:38am<b>Valour6</b> - the 03/13/2013 at 12:02pm<b>Slovenian</b> - the 08/30/2011 at 8:52am<b>TigerTattoo</b> - the 08/08/2010 at 5:21pm<b>mousehunter</b> - the 03/19/2010 at 2:48am<b>CherryPie036</b> - the 12/20/2009 at 1:30am<b>iljajlm</b> - the 12/19/2009 at 7:27pm<b>NeverBAckDown</b> - the 07/29/2009 at 1:58am<b>Jaxro</b> - the 07/25/2009 at 11:20am<b>Young_Sparta</b> - the 07/25/2009 at 5:32am

Kalofinator's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Kalofinator's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me he was going out tonight to celebrate his ex-but-still-friends-girlfriend's birthday at a local club and hopes I wasn't offended that I wasn't invited. I sure am offended; we have the same birthday. FML

#4136342
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75094) - you deserved it (3554)

On 07/29/2009 at 3:32pm - love - by imscrewed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML

#4113781
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49789) - you deserved it (7801)

On 07/28/2009 at 6:28pm - intimacy - by notsexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my brother decided it would be funny to squirt disappearing ink on my wedding dress right before I walked down the aisle. It didn't disappear. FML

#4080765
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64529) - you deserved it (2825)

On 07/27/2009 at 2:22pm - misc - by randomnamehere (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was at the movies. All of a sudden, the woman next to me starts laughing uncontrollably and talking to her friend during the movie. This continued throughout the movie, ruining it. I turned and whispered to my friend. The woman then taps me on the shoulder and yells, "Shut the fuck up!" FML

Today, a man held a door open for me while I fished my umbrella out of my very cluttered bag. As I was opening my umbrella, I turned to thank him for being such a gentleman. Instead, a tampon that had apparently wedged itself into the folds of my umbrella flew into his face. FML

#4001107
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41556) - you deserved it (5344)

On 07/24/2009 at 7:39am - misc - by umbrella (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was in an elevator with my dad and several strangers. When the elevator voice said, "Going down," my dad excitedly said, "Man, I love it when she says that!" loudly enough for everyone to hear. FML

#4000566
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40240) - you deserved it (4163)

On 07/24/2009 at 6:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I bust my lip when a car bumped into mine. As I headed home, I was stopped by the police who told me my back light was out. I tried to explain, but it just came out as "fghjiljh" because of my lip. I was arrested on suspicion of drinking and driving. FML

#3983429
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46708) - you deserved it (3614)

On 07/23/2009 at 5:19pm - misc - by Gg (man) - United Kingdom (Bradford)

Today, I was standing by the bed naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opens the door and walks over to me, swinging her hips, wearing pratically nothing. About four feet from me, she trips on the edge of the floor mat, and uses my 'junk' to catch herself. FML

#3950301
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75193) - you deserved it (6080)

On 07/22/2009 at 10:12am - intimacy - by Gordon (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I have to choose between one eyebrow or none because I'm a heavy sleeper and my brother is a moron. FML

#3669830
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57731) - you deserved it (4626)

On 07/11/2009 at 4:02pm - misc - by wow (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my wife and I went shopping for new glasses at a local store, but we didn't really get to actually buying one. On our way back, she warned me that my glasses of choice should in no way be 'those big arty ones'. When I asked her why not, she told me that I 'look gay enough already'. FML

#3365761
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39435) - you deserved it (5719)

On 06/30/2009 at 1:01pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my friend said he'd give me 20 bucks if I would ask out the ugliest girl in school. I did it. She rejected me. FML

#3171595
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17735) - you deserved it (100727)

On 06/24/2009 at 11:33am - love - by steven (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my daughter used pledge to clean the wooden staircase. I found out when I tried to walk down them in socks. FML

#3137998
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42279) - you deserved it (4549)

On 06/23/2009 at 2:12am - kids - by FastFlight (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my daughter used pledge to clean the wooden staircase. I found out when I tried to walk down them in socks. FML

#3137998
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42279) - you deserved it (4549)

On 06/23/2009 at 2:12am - kids - by FastFlight (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was talking to my only grandson about how I was going to the dentist to get my teeth fixed and how it was going to cost a lot of money, he replied saying "Who cares, you're going to die soon anyways". FML

#3096413
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61296) - you deserved it (3507)

On 06/21/2009 at 5:46pm - health - by oldtimerclark - United States (Georgia)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: