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Kalofinator

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Kalofinator
  • Town/Country : Nashville
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 21197
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Kalofinator's favorite FMLs

Today, while lying in bed with my wife, I asked her if she still loved me. Her reply "Sometimes". This I know is true because she instantly rolled over and farted on my leg. FML

#6802710
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25983) - you deserved it (3901)

On 12/17/2009 at 10:48pm - love - by yoked (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me that he will never marry me because we are different ethnicities and his parents don't approve. I was of course very upset and crying. His way to comfort me was by saying, "Don't worry, I will always cheat on my wife with you." FML

#6778697
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37207) - you deserved it (2919)

On 12/16/2009 at 2:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend while looking at halloween costumes online for this years halloween party and said, "Maybe we could go as Bonnie and Clyde this year." He said, "Maybe we should go as a broken up couple," and hung up on me. He wasn't kidding. FML

#5217172
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30682) - you deserved it (2589)

On 09/12/2009 at 10:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML

#5034499
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42247) - you deserved it (4849)

On 09/04/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by Scarred (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was having lunch with my boyfriend and talking about how stressed out I've been because of my job. While I'm speaking, he pulls out his phone and says his boss is texting him and it was important. There was a game of Tetris reflecting onto his glasses from his phone. FML

#5000239
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40702) - you deserved it (6204)

On 09/02/2009 at 3:17pm - love - by littlemissignored (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML

#4998689
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42189) - you deserved it (12443)

On 09/02/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was going to work and got in the elevator. I was going through my bag for my phone and asked the man in the elevator to push the button for me. He gave me a look of death before I realized he had no arms. FML

#4995727
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37896) - you deserved it (11569)

On 09/02/2009 at 9:01am - work - by elevatorjerk - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML

#4636801
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54820) - you deserved it (10823)

On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was working in a warehouse where fellow employees were kicking empty boxes around. Seeing a box, I got running distance and kicked it as hard as I could, only to look up in horror to see that I had kicked into our CEO's face. I still had both my arms up in score mode. FML

#4417432
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9620) - you deserved it (43520)

On 08/10/2009 at 12:03am - work - by zwillywilly (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was taking a serious shit when the light bulb burned out. I am terrified of the dark and began wailing and crying. My mom had to pick the lock and get me out. I'm a 17 year old guy and captain of the Varsity football team. My little brother recorded it and plans on showing everyone. FML

#4350390
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19632) - you deserved it (47281)

On 08/07/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by scaredshitless (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to call poison control because my idiot son swallowed a bunch of baking soda to "make a volcano in his tummy." FML

#4326730
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45606) - you deserved it (15400)

On 08/06/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was sitting on the bus next to a hot guy who was texting. I sneaked a peak at his phone to see if he was texting a girl so I could know if he was single. As I looked at his screen, he turned it towards me and typed in caps "STOP BEING A CREEPER." He got out of his seat and off the bus. FML

#4305194
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7021) - you deserved it (74589)

On 08/05/2009 at 9:37am - love - by TextLoser (woman) - United States (New York)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

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