Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 22640
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

Kalofinator's page activity

Visits<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 10/04/2016 at 8:42pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 9:13pm<b>OhSnapItsSkyla</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 6:21am<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 1:57am<b>LoveNnyl</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 10:14am<b>bvbgleek</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 3:50pm<b>lagreeni</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 1:10pm<b>Jreslier</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 7:13am<b>FamousPeace</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 4:15pm<b>pjpeej13</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 4:46pm<b>Gr8wise1</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 9:27am<b>huntervaldzkr</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 11:58am<b>SaviiXoXo21</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 1:07pm<b>chadwj</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 8:30am<b>Alonzo_5841</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 3:38am<b>Valour6</b> - the 03/13/2013 at 12:02pm<b>Slovenian</b> - the 08/30/2011 at 8:52am<b>TigerTattoo</b> - the 08/08/2010 at 5:21pm

Kalofinator's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Kalofinator's favorite FMLs

Today, while lying in bed with my wife, I asked her if she still loved me. Her reply "Sometimes". This I know is true because she instantly rolled over and farted on my leg. FML

by yoked / 12/17/2009 at 10:48pm / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me that he will never marry me because we are different ethnicities and his parents don't approve. I was of course very upset and crying. His way to comfort me was by saying, "Don't worry, I will always cheat on my wife with you." FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2009 at 2:28pm / United States / Love

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend while looking at halloween costumes online for this years halloween party and said, "Maybe we could go as Bonnie and Clyde this year." He said, "Maybe we should go as a broken up couple," and hung up on me. He wasn't kidding. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2009 at 10:42pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML

by Scarred / 09/04/2009 at 1:15am / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation

Today, I was having lunch with my boyfriend and talking about how stressed out I've been because of my job. While I'm speaking, he pulls out his phone and says his boss is texting him and it was important. There was a game of Tetris reflecting onto his glasses from his phone. FML

by littlemissignored / 09/02/2009 at 3:17pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2009 at 1:38pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was going to work and got in the elevator. I was going through my bag for my phone and asked the man in the elevator to push the button for me. He gave me a look of death before I realized he had no arms. FML

by elevatorjerk / 09/02/2009 at 9:01am / United States / Work

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by sending me a Bumper Sticker on Facebook that said "Bitch, let's get married". FML

by mylifesucks / 08/30/2009 at 12:40pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, while we changed positions, he shouts, "Power Rangers - It's Morphin' Time!" FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I was working in a warehouse where fellow employees were kicking empty boxes around. Seeing a box, I got running distance and kicked it as hard as I could, only to look up in horror to see that I had kicked into our CEO's face. I still had both my arms up in score mode. FML

by zwillywilly / 08/10/2009 at 12:03am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I was taking a serious shit when the light bulb burned out. I am terrified of the dark and began wailing and crying. My mom had to pick the lock and get me out. I'm a 17 year old guy and captain of the Varsity football team. My little brother recorded it and plans on showing everyone. FML

by scaredshitless / 08/07/2009 at 12:11am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2009 at 7:11am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I had to call poison control because my idiot son swallowed a bunch of baking soda to "make a volcano in his tummy." FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2009 at 2:13am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was picking my daughter up at day care. She was outside playing kick ball. A red ball rolls over to me, and trying to impress the kids, I kicked it over the slide. I turn around to see three crying six year olds. It was their hamster ball. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2009 at 1:10pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was sitting on the bus next to a hot guy who was texting. I sneaked a peek at his phone to see if he was texting a girl so I could know if he was single. As I looked at his screen, he turned it towards me and typed in caps "STOP BEING A CREEPER." He got out of his seat and off the bus. FML

by TextLoser / 08/05/2009 at 9:37am / United States (New York) / Transportation