Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

KailyKii

Search for a member

KailyKii
  • Town/Country : New Zealand
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1910
  • Number of comments : 61
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About KailyKii : Hi Stalker! Welcome to my profile.
I'm normally sarcastic, live with it.
I'm not a crazy grammar nazi, although I prefer not to "taip liyk dis".
I love the fact that some peoples comments are better than the FML.
I can't reply to messages. :/
That is all.
:D

KailyKii's last visitors

pikawarriorstigerfishMornaiBroadway_VaynebootyloveBosternDaFudge

KailyKii's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of KailyKii's badges

KailyKii's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered my wife and I have referred to our two-year-old as 'cutie' or 'beautiful' so many times she won't respond to her own name. FML

#18304597
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9757) - you deserved it (27184)

On 11/21/2011 at 1:23am - kids - by BadFather (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out my wife has been bribing my daughter to keep quiet about her affair with my boss. That would explain the iPhone 4S, the $500 shoes, the $200 purse, and the professional $300 haircut. They told me it was because she had straight A's. FML

#18302011
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40410) - you deserved it (3086)

On 11/20/2011 at 9:05pm - kids - by brokeandalone (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went outside for a cigarette since I don't like smoking in the house. When I was done, I stomped it out. I wasn't wearing shoes. FML

#18291679
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8467) - you deserved it (57015)

On 11/19/2011 at 7:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my mother looked me dead in the face and said, "I have failed as a parent." FML

#18286632
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30566) - you deserved it (6218)

On 11/19/2011 at 2:47am - love - by Yeoman (man) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, MS Word kept crashing with a memory error, so I called tech support. Instead of actually fixing the problem, their tech wasted over an hour of my time defragmenting the hard drive, disabling the anti-virus, and downloading new video card drivers from some shady site, before giving up. FML

#18283702
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17695) - you deserved it (2106)

On 11/18/2011 at 7:48pm - work - by I quit (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was involved in a car accident and hit my head on the dash. I now have huge, very sore knot on my head. My boyfriend now takes every opportunity to poke it and scream "Look! A baby unicorn!" FML

#18280377
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27200) - you deserved it (3568)

On 11/18/2011 at 10:26am - misc - by southernpride93 - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend went and bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and renewed his WoW subscription. Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two. FML

#18273262
602 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41939) - you deserved it (11055)

On 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

#18255063
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33878) - you deserved it (18245)

On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy (woman) - United States

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

#18255063
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33878) - you deserved it (18245)

On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy (woman) - United States

Today, my daughter-in-law taught my 4-year-old grandson to burst into tears and yell, "Am I not good enough for you?" whenever I ask her if she's going to have any more children. FML

#18254436
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11888) - you deserved it (55353)

On 11/15/2011 at 10:16am - kids - by Margo (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I and a policeman confronted my psychotic neighbor who stole my cat because she thinks flea bites cause cancer. She refused to tell us what she'd done with the cat. I just spent $100 last month in vet bills, and my kids are crying for their pet. He's probably in pieces in her freezer. FML

#18249265
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32011) - you deserved it (1641)

On 11/14/2011 at 7:46pm - animals - by Stalked (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML

#18239656
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13831) - you deserved it (49692)

On 11/13/2011 at 5:46pm - misc - by shootme - Canada

Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML

#18234990
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23374) - you deserved it (1788)

On 11/13/2011 at 3:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML

#18234448
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35203) - you deserved it (5504)

On 11/13/2011 at 1:53am - kids - by weswithaute - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I sent the texts "I love and miss you babe;)." and "Shit wrong person." to my ex just so he would think I have a life. FML

#18234157
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16293) - you deserved it (53584)

On 11/13/2011 at 1:16am - love - by random person - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: