Kaatosade

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Kaatosade

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 June 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5164
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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Kaatosade's page activity

Visits<b>draftskink</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 5:42pm<b>joco4</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 3:57pm<b>Demonface54</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 8:27am<b>Juniorhap</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 6:00pm<b>Internetdude</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 5:21am<b>xChaos</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 10:36pm<b>Relius</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 1:55am<b>pikawarriors</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 10:07pm<b>Pwn17</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 2:53pm<b>TheCutestLizard</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 2:35am<b>Ebolaconflict</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 3:13pm<b>Kerensky</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 1:56pm<b>aLiYaaH</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 6:26pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 4:19pm<b>MusixLife</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 1:07am<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 10:39pm<b>sirchuckles</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 1:56pm<b>tckma</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 7:26am

Fucked!<b>joco4</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 9:57pm

Kaatosade's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Kaatosade's badges

Kaatosade's favorite FMLs

Today, my guinea pig was resting on my shoulder. However, I forgot to tie my hair up and she gnawed off a clump of it that was a good 6 inches long. I had to fight her to get it out of her mouth. FML

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

by Anna L. / 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, the kids I babysit hid from me. While I was looking for them, I stepped on multiple strategically-placed Lego bricks. When I yelped from the pain, the kids jumped out and threw soccer balls in my face. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2013 at 7:47pm / United States / Kids

Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2013 at 11:21am / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Intimacy

Today, on Facebook, I mentioned that I'd just finished reading the novel Pet Sematary. Two hours later, I'd lost two friends and my boyfriend, after they commented "learn to spell, dumbass", "u illiterate fucker", and "well, I'm not dating you for your brains, am I?" I hate humanity. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2013 at 8:02pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working at Starbucks, a man came in and placed his order. I made his drink, topped it with whipped cream, and put the lid on. Some cream was seeping out of the top. He looked at me and said, "Good... you left a nipple..." and slowly licked it off. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2013 at 1:06am / United States / Work

Today, my 20-year-old came whining to me, asking why his job interviews keep going so poorly. I had to delicately explain that the "PIMP SLAP" tattoo he had put on his right hand recently may have something to do with it. FML

by ProudMother / 03/06/2013 at 1:04pm / United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin) / Kids

Today, during a silent breathing meditation at the Buddhist center, I accidentally let one rip which echoed through the meditation chamber. If that wasn't bad enough, the follow-up odor was enough to fell a charging rhinoceros. FML

by Anonymous / 02/22/2013 at 2:57am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to slowly explain to my son that an "analogy" is a literary device, not a genre of porn. FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2013 at 1:50pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", and giving birth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML

by go snope yourself / 01/26/2013 at 4:51pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

by Grant / 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm / United States / Kids

Today, I walked in on my sister plucking her nipples. A shame I didn't get a big fuck-off bottle of brain bleach for Christmas. FML

by FuckMyEyes / 12/25/2012 at 8:49pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, at work, I took an order from a stuck-up sounding lady over the phone. She said her last name was "duckling, but with an F". Bemused, I wrote her name on the order. When she arrived to pick it up later, she told me she'd said "s", not "f". FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2012 at 7:25pm / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Work

Today, while at a red light, a guy in a tux and sunglasses doing the Gangnam Style passed over the crossing, followed by a man with a video camera. This isn't the first time I've stopped for people doing a Gangnam Style parody. FML

by Gangnam / 11/16/2012 at 10:52am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML

by Anonymous / 11/01/2012 at 7:48am / France (Picardie) / Love