Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

K_kanaka

Online | Search for a member

K_kanaka

5Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 26431
  • Number of comments : 228
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About K_kanaka : I was born and raised in Hilo, Hawaii(for those that don't know that is the rainy part of the state)
I go on FML to get a good laugh.
I also like to make new friends so message me

K_kanaka's page activity

Visits<b>appletreee</b> - 15 hours ago<b>Angelkisses130</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 9:36am<b>Cortezthe1st</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 8:53pm<b>Aseemdawg</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 7:41pm<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 4:17pm<b>tintin10</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 2:27pm<b>liammarkowitz</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 10:11am<b>dude_itskayley</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 9:15am<b>Junelise</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 6:51am<b>xsydneyx123</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 5:10am<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 3:41am<b>sarah5745</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 3:12am<b>merethevh</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 2:05am<b>mydumblifesucks</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 1:42am<b>ambidextrousfool</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 12:39am<b>j_portal</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 10:35pm<b>sam882</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 10:00pm<b>Acerhawk</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 7:06pm

Liked!<b>Aseemdawg</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 1:41am<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 4:08am<b>Angelkisses130</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 12:15am<b>watermelon15</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 3:31pm<b>ChloeLentin</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 2:06pm

K_kanaka's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of K_kanaka's badges

K_kanaka's favorite FMLs

Today, while on vacation, my parents called to inform me that my best friend had died in a car accident. Why? To trick me into tearfully confessing my love for him. It worked. FML

#21272324
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48965) - you deserved it (4328)

On 10/06/2014 at 9:14pm - love - by whywouldyoudothat - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend and I were wondering whose extra spare key was on the counter when we came home. Turns out it's his ex's and she returned it, while neither of us were home. We're still taking inventory to see what's missing. FML

#21272236
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32674) - you deserved it (3273)

On 10/06/2014 at 7:05pm - misc - by thenewgirl - United States (Florida)

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40563) - you deserved it (5670)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

#21258033
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31727) - you deserved it (18250)

On 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

#21250558
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43217) - you deserved it (8705)

On 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML

#21247589
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37400) - you deserved it (5011)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16am - misc - by AgentOrion - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML

#21247445
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35781) - you deserved it (4697)

On 08/28/2014 at 9:47pm - love - by ch4nny (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

#21244858
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44196) - you deserved it (7890)

On 08/25/2014 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML

#21244565
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40016) - you deserved it (7276)

On 08/24/2014 at 5:50pm - work - by fuck you, tasha (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, the police knocked on my door, saying that they needed to investigate my house for animal abuse. Apparently the neighbours called, reporting a "screeching bird in pain". I have no bird, but I have been singing quite loudly recently. FML

#21244302
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37922) - you deserved it (5036)

On 08/24/2014 at 8:40am - animals - by abusedparrot - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48710) - you deserved it (8866)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it's the 16th day of my period. FML

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML

#21241016
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43672) - you deserved it (16601)

On 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my two-year-old daughter's favourite word is 'No'. After leaving her with my sixteen-year-old brother, she now knows other N words as well. Niet, Nein, Non and Never. Her teenage uncle thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21240415
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36510) - you deserved it (6054)

On 08/18/2014 at 9:26am - kids - by 919191 (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Idan Schneider's illustrated FML
  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: