Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

K_kanaka

Offline (the 09/15/2014 at 2:57pm) | Search for a member

K_kanaka

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 18972
  • Number of comments : 219
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About K_kanaka : I was born and raised in Hilo, Hawaii(for those that don't know that is the rainy part of the state)
I go on FML to get a good laugh.
I also like to make new friends so message me

K_kanaka's page activity

Visits<b>Rainbowbish</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 9:21pm<b>LiliLatte</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 11:33am<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 9:51pm<b>SierraaaNicoleee</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 11:04pm<b>emmaaadotcom</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 10:45pm<b>LowwLoww</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 9:24pm<b>TayTay4Ever</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 3:10pm<b>DoctorWatson</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 3:09pm<b>Mynameislinh</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 2:12pm<b>lotr4</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 3:42am<b>Mons</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 6:57am<b>starbarbazar</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 1:00pm<b>IAMKDI</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 12:43am<b>papashaan</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 9:53pm<b>wjsgkrbs</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 10:24pm<b>grritsshay</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 1:27pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 4:14pm<b>dekovennicolee</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 11:18pm

Liked!<b>ChloeLentin</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 2:06pm

K_kanaka's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of K_kanaka's badges

K_kanaka's favorite FMLs

Today, I was woken up early in the morning by the sound of my mother frantically crying out for help. Apparently she had tried, unsuccessfully, to "end the suffering" of an injured squirrel by drowning it in the toilet. How? By placing it into the bowl and smothering it with clothes. My clothes. FML

#18570075
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28197) - you deserved it (2272)

On 12/21/2011 at 1:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was called a "whore," a "demon," a "piece of shit," and a "disrespectful bitch." All of this happened because I wouldn't let my mother-in-law borrow my car. This is a woman with multiple speeding tickets. FML

#18568632
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29201) - you deserved it (2680)

On 12/21/2011 at 7:39am - misc - by sigh (woman) - United States

Today, I'm on a medication that really dehydrates my skin. I thought split lips were the worst side effects. Other split orifices make a trip to the toilet a literal pain in the arse. No sign of stopping in the near future. FML

#18560228
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22499) - you deserved it (2013)

On 12/20/2011 at 7:46am - health - by ouch (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to spurt my man-mush into an old gym sock, and had picked up some concentrated bronzer. I now have neon-orange hands and genitals. FML

#18556841
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8888) - you deserved it (44688)

On 12/19/2011 at 9:29pm - intimacy - by Colton (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my brother and I proposed to our girlfriends at the same time. We had perfect synchronization after practicing for days. My brother's girlfriend said yes, mine said no. FML

#18552373
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49286) - you deserved it (4821)

On 12/19/2011 at 10:40am - love - by emmmbo - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my brother and I proposed to our girlfriends at the same time. We had perfect synchronization after practicing for days. My brother's girlfriend said yes, mine said no. FML

#18552373
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49286) - you deserved it (4821)

On 12/19/2011 at 10:40am - love - by emmmbo - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I dropped my 7-year-old son off at school. He decided to have fun and step out of my car screaming "Stranger danger" while running away and pointing at me. I then had to get out of my car to shut the door he'd left wide open. This caused 20 other kids to scream "Stranger danger" as well. FML

Today, I made a fake Facebook account for a girl, and then set my relationship status to make it look like the fake person was my girlfriend. Someone found out and hacked the fake account. My fake girlfriend just dumped me over Facebook. FML

#18547813
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9563) - you deserved it (57641)

On 12/18/2011 at 8:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I came to the conclusion that my dad must have had a psychotic break, because when I came home, he was wearing sunglasses indoors, and blasted out Skrillex music all through the evening. The sound of diarrhea pouring into a gutter would make for better music than this. FML

#18547021
476 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18798) - you deserved it (15871)

On 12/18/2011 at 6:48pm - misc - by fmT719 - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML

#18531722
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30291) - you deserved it (5361)

On 12/16/2011 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by anne (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

#18531059
175 comments

Today, I discovered that for the last six months my mother has been leaving my TV on FOX while I sleep, in the hope that my subconscious will absorb it and turn me into "a morally-upright human being". FML

#18529063
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27094) - you deserved it (4517)

On 12/16/2011 at 5:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband changed the voice on my car's GPS to Mr T's. I don't know how to change it back. I've been saying, "I pity the fool" over and over again ever since. FML

#18510240
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20084) - you deserved it (4881)

On 12/14/2011 at 9:06am - misc - by annoyed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend sent me a text that said, "I can't be seen with you anymore. You're too fat." FML

#18508654
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33021) - you deserved it (11021)

On 12/14/2011 at 12:42am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was getting dressed in my bedroom with the blinds open and had nothing covering my top half. I thought my neighbours wouldn't be able to see in through all the trees, that was until I heard someone wolf whistle and one of my neighbours running away. FML

#18479529
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9985) - you deserved it (27719)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:35pm - misc - by nakedness (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: