Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

K_kanaka

Online | Search for a member

K_kanaka

11Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 31 August 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 34158
  • Number of comments : 249
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About K_kanaka : I was born and raised in Hilo, Hawaii(for those that don't know that is the rainy part of the state)
I now live in Honolulu O'ahu for college.
I go on FML to get a good laugh.
I also like to make new friends so message me

K_kanaka's page activity

Visits<b>Steffi3</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 2:22am<b>codytallica</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 9:24pm<b>teapotrevolt</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 8:38am<b>silentsuffer</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 2:31am<b>CptHeinz</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 8:05am<b>Kvothee</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 5:06am<b>kieralumina</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 11:23pm<b>Angel1999</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 9:11pm<b>Angelkisses130</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 5:32pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 10:37pm<b>samoferrell</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 10:47pm<b>Buhhhlainaaaa</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 2:15pm<b>easmith96</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 5:08pm<b>tsumi001</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 4:07am<b>kaiboi702</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 1:59am<b>DejaRenee</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 12:05am<b>PicanteSeed</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 11:53pm<b>MrConcise</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 11:42pm

Fucked!<b>PicanteSeed</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 5:53am<b>luridz</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 2:31pm<b>meowimmakat</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 11:01am<b>demonddm</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 11:54am<b>Gregor1234</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 1:28am<b>TheRainbowAgent</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 1:00am<b>Aseemdawg</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 1:41am<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 4:08am<b>Angelkisses130</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 12:15am<b>watermelon15</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 3:31pm

K_kanaka's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of K_kanaka's badges

K_kanaka's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm here to inform men that, "If I fucked you, I wouldn't pull out" is not an effective pick up line. Ever. Especially on a coworker. FML

#21349737
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33809) - you deserved it (5479)

On 02/04/2015 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by No thank you (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at work, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head on my cash register. A second later, I heard roaring laughter from the security room, followed by someone saying to play it back. I'd almost convinced myself it wasn't about me, when one of the guys came out and gave me a thumb up. FML

#21349710
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33729) - you deserved it (2961)

On 02/04/2015 at 2:28pm - work - by fxck (woman) -

Today, my science teacher decided not to recommend me for an honors science class for next year. The reason? Last week, I made the mistake of asking whether spray tans give vitamins in the same way as the sun. FML

#21349372
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14703) - you deserved it (43509)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I shaved for the first time. My mum gave me a razor and I spent about 20 minutes trying to use it. I gave up, yelling, "FUCK IT!" and put it back on the shelf. It fell, and as it hit the floor, a lid fell off. I'd tried to shave with a sheathed razor for 20 minutes. FML

#21349366
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14659) - you deserved it (38308)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:45pm - health - by februarymarchapril (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss informed me I couldn't go on my "vacation" because he's leaving for one of his employees' weddings. That just so happens to be my wedding, for which I'm taking the vacation. FML

Today, my boyfriend "accidentally" had sex with my roommate. FML

#21348376
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44820) - you deserved it (3224)

On 02/02/2015 at 2:34pm - intimacy - by itsemilyc - United States (Michigan)

Today, I came back from vacation to find a packet on the company's stress management programs on my desk. I was sent the same packet over my vacation. I got the same packet from my boss as I left. All because I snapped at a co-worker who was throwing a tantrum over the Star Wars trailer. FML

#21347776
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25701) - you deserved it (3550)

On 02/01/2015 at 1:48pm - work - by Darth Binks (man) - Canada

Today, my Breaking Bad obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks." during foreplay. My vagina just about turned into a desert on the spot. FML

#21347719
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30445) - you deserved it (3307)

On 02/01/2015 at 11:17am - intimacy - by SKYYYLLLARRRR!!!! (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had food poisoning and woke up early in the morning to vomit. My mom emailed all of my teachers saying that I would be late to school because of "morning sickness". Thanks mom. FML

#21347496
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30068) - you deserved it (2146)

On 01/31/2015 at 9:43pm - health - by Lunab123 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boss let me sit in on a board meeting. It was awesome until the guy next to me let out a vile fart, then looked at me in disgust, causing the others to look at me in disgust too. When I told my boss what really happened, he told me to grow up and stop blaming the other guy. FML

#21347235
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29359) - you deserved it (2402)

On 01/31/2015 at 10:08am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got married. My grandpa took me aside afterwards and said that the moment the ceremony was over, he heard my wife's vagina slam shut. "Welcome to marriage, sucker," he chuckled, "It's just you and Rosy Palm now!" FML

#21347104
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27742) - you deserved it (2894)

On 01/31/2015 at 12:38am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after telling my husband he can send me dirty texts any time, he sent me one from work. It said, "Babe when I get home, I'm gonna go 9/11 on your pussy ;)". I'm still not sure he understands why that was so offensive. FML

#21347069
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26856) - you deserved it (5131)

On 01/30/2015 at 11:04pm - intimacy - by The Soul Of A Damned Queef (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I showed my son the old trick of turning a calculator upside down and spelling "BOOBIES" on it in numbers. He laughed, then spent nearly 20 minutes trying to spell "COCKS", before giving up and hurling the calculator across the room. I wish my sperm had a warranty. FML

#21346989
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24245) - you deserved it (6180)

On 01/30/2015 at 7:51pm - kids - by 3722145 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend ran off with my beloved dog. Why? Yesterday she asked me who I'd choose, and I honestly said that I would choose the dog. FML

Today, a booklet came in the mail, addressed to me and titled "How To Train Your Wife". I didn't order it but my wife doesn't believe me. FML



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: