Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

KVKdragon

Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member

KVKdragon

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 July 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5968
  • Number of comments : 555
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 25 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

KVKdragon's page activity

Visits<b>tchatfield9413</b> - 11 hours ago<b>tcainn</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 12:38pm<b>daydreamstar</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 2:30am<b>_awesomeness585</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 3:08am<b>Welshite</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 9:23pm<b>Raachycat</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 8:16am<b>anniejoy</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 9:41am<b>styleherder</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 2:04pm<b>chemtek</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 12:38am<b>lil_one3</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 12:32am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 3:01pm<b>KJxFTW</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 5:29am<b>Shelby7226</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 12:34am<b>simplysarcastics</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 5:46pm<b>BigJoeZD</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 10:39am<b>robvandamn</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 7:59am<b>zach205</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 12:39pm<b>RainbowxxVeinsx</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 2:17am

KVKdragon's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of KVKdragon's badges

KVKdragon's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

#19983117
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26173) - you deserved it (12410)

On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my dog somehow managed to swallow a ring that my mother had bought me. Now I must carefully poke and search through each pile of dog crap I find in my yard for the next week. FML

#19971657
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18078) - you deserved it (2423)

On 07/21/2012 at 11:58pm - animals - by summerbabe77 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I made microwaveable popcorn. When the bag finished popping, I took it out and opened it and put my face in close to get a big whiff. It now feels like I have third degree burns inside my nose and behind my eyes. FML

#19945940
154 comments

Today, I was in the shower, when I heard my daughter scream and shout, "Mommy, mommy! Help! Come quick!" I panicked and rushed downstairs without even looking for a towel to cover myself, all so I could find out she'd just gotten a piece of dirt on her shoe. FML

#19881978
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22403) - you deserved it (2507)

On 07/02/2012 at 5:17pm - kids - by Sh*t (woman) - Venezuela (Distrito Federal)

Today, my girlfriend got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash over her pubic mound. Now whenever I go down on her, I'll be eye-to-eye with an adorable pony that shits rainbows. FML

#19881608
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31690) - you deserved it (4924)

On 07/02/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by nobrony (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash over her pubic mound. Now whenever I go down on her, I'll be eye-to-eye with an adorable pony that shits rainbows. FML

#19881608
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31690) - you deserved it (4924)

On 07/02/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by nobrony (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I started my new job as a repossession agent. While attempting to repo a boat, we came across a young couple. The woman was very annoying, and even hit another agent, so I threatened to throw her in the water if she touched him again. I ended up in the water instead. FML

#19776443
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17327) - you deserved it (12624)

On 06/12/2012 at 12:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I overheard my boss and a co-worker talking about me. Apparently when I speak, I slur my words so badly that it sounds like I'm speaking in tongues. According to my boss, "he could be possessed by a demon right now, and we'd never even notice." FML

#19770940
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19450) - you deserved it (2865)

On 06/11/2012 at 2:16pm - work - by bronieswillrule5eva (man) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, saying he had to move away to be with his dad, who's just been diagnosed with cancer. After talking to his sister, I discovered that not only is his dad healthy, he's not moving away either; he's just gotten back with his ex. FML

#19766178
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31825) - you deserved it (2122)

On 06/10/2012 at 3:50pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, I went to meet my girlfriend's parents at her sister's play. The moment I introduced myself, I realized that her father was my probation officer. FML

#19764456
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30805) - you deserved it (18234)

On 06/10/2012 at 5:16am - love - by fernie vazquez - United States (California)

Today, the mailman delivered my new phone to my neighbour's house. This was okay, because he left a note in my mailbox informing me so. Now my crazy neighbour won't give me the package because, "*I* signed for it!" FML

#19673305
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20953) - you deserved it (1450)

On 05/24/2012 at 3:30pm - misc - by Byebye - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, I went to a job interview at a small family-owned business. After the interview, the owner's son took me into his office and told me I'm not getting the job and to get out, because apparently, the old man thinks I'm "possessed by a demon". FML

#19652325
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20934) - you deserved it (1812)

On 05/20/2012 at 3:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
477 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47321) - you deserved it (4383)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
477 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47321) - you deserved it (4383)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, I made my friends and family laugh by trying to put on costume glasses with a giant super-sized nose attached to them. They laughed hysterically. Not because of the gigantic nose, but because my real nose was radically bigger and the fake one wouldn't fit over it. FML

#19606582
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23169) - you deserved it (3074)

On 05/11/2012 at 9:24am - misc - by MobPerfect (man) - United States (Rhode Island)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML's post-Christmas debriefing
  • Thank tinselled-Christ that that's finished! Christmas 2014 is finally over. We can finally stop grumbling about the endless songs about snow, put the presents away in a closet (or a dumpster) and…

Friday 26 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: