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KVKdragon's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 12/07/2010 at 5:35am / Norway (Ostfold) / Animals
by bribreeeeeezyfreshhh / 12/06/2010 at 12:03pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/04/2010 at 2:32am / United States (Texas) / Geek
by Anonymous / 11/19/2010 at 4:20pm / United States (Florida) / Health
Today, I began training my replacement at work. She's a senior citizen. She got excited when I taught her how to highlight text on the screen and double-click the mouse because she "never knew how to do those fancy tricks." The job is entirely computer-based. I have to train her for 6 weeks. FML
by Anonymous / 11/16/2010 at 8:34pm / United States (Kentucky) / Work
by heshay / 10/28/2010 at 12:27am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I was getting ready to load my groceries in my car when my remote wouldn't work and neither would my key to unlock it. A cute young guy came over, not to help but to ask me what the hell I was doing to his car. My car, that looked exactly like his, was on the other side of the lot. FML
by ctschantz / 10/06/2010 at 10:29am / Transportation
by bibobobonnor / 09/28/2010 at 12:40am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, after a few months of my neighbors friend parking outside his house and honking until he came outside, I happened to be out doing lawn work. I politely screamed "STOP HONKING YOUR F***ING HORN!" To which they responded by moving in front of MY house and holding down their horn. I hate people. FML
by Myself / 09/06/2010 at 6:45am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, it was my boyfriend's parents' anniversary so I thought I'd do something to impress them. I made them chocolate-covered strawberries. But for some reason they gave me really dirty looks when they saw it. Turns out his mother is allergic to strawberries and his father is allergic to chocolate. FML
by wakinginvegas87 / 09/05/2010 at 11:49am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went into a music store to look into getting a new guitar. I picked up one that I was interested in and tried it out quietly. A sales representative approached me and asked me to "stop the noise and leave the guitars for serious customers." I've been playing for almost ten years. FML
by Anonymous / 05/26/2010 at 2:03pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was with my girlfriend, thinking we were alone in the house. Her little brother found us having sex on the couch, took a pic and said, "You are now both my slaves." He ran upstairs and locked his bedroom door. FML
by junior / 04/11/2010 at 4:11am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
Today, my dad and I were shovelling snow off the roof. I told him I was going to jump off the roof. He told me to go ahead, so I did. He failed to tell me that the snow was packed and wouldn't break my fall. I now have an injured back. He didn't tell me because he didn't think I would actually do it. FML
by Braced / 02/21/2010 at 12:14am / United States (West Virginia) / Health
Today, I received multiple phone calls asking how much my Siamese cat cost. Too bad I never had a Siamese cat - let alone a Siamese cat up for sale. Turns out the guy I prank phone called the other day didn't appreciate it and put my number on Craigslist with an add for a Siamese cat. FML
by AUDONEE / 02/10/2010 at 1:39am / United States (District of Columbia) / Animals
by heartbroken / 01/21/2010 at 8:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
- Today, after hours of non-stop work on an important case, I cheeringly blurted out, "And now, time… Today, I threw up when I got home because I'd been drinking with friends. My parents asked what was… Today, I came back from the hospital after back surgery which required putting screws in my spine.…